Rant Management

2007-09-05T18:09:00.001+01:00

Are we as a world just getting lazier and lazier? I don’t mean physically as such, I mean more in general, it’s not exactly an age-old debate as it’s only recently started coming about. Things are “getting quicker” but is that because we are lazy or is it because we don’t have the time to spend doing “slow” things.

For example, today I have sent some emails to a couple of old mates because I am shit bored at work. It was only 10-15 years ago that I would spend an evening writing letters to my ‘pen pals’ I loved having pen pals, I loved writing letters when I was younger (Jesus, why does that sound like such a girly thing?) but I would write to everyone, well, I don’t think I ever wrote to a bloke but I wrote to loads of females!! I enjoyed it, the excitement of getting a new letter was really cool and now the only letters I get are more poxy bills or loan companies offering me superb introductory interest rates! (SOMEBODY SEND ME A LETTER………….;-)

These days though, even if I was to write a letter I’d probably do it in Word and print it off – is that lazy? Or is it ease of convenience? My writing is shocking at the best of times so I suppose it makes it more legible but I don’t send letters to anyone anymore and in a way it saddens me, I had some great friends that I would write to all the time, some of them I still speak to but more on an ad-hoc basis rather than the once a week/month letter we used to exchange. I’m taking this down two different paths, the first of which is my friend Lisa Gentle we would write constantly, all the bloody time, I must have sent and received about 100 letters over a period of about 5/6 years I’m sure if I looked hard enough in my old stuff there would be an old letter with her address on it somewhere and I could write to her but part of me can’t be bothered because its in the past and the past should always stay where it is but I do wonder how she is doing every now and then. Also and this is the second path, part of my brain says “Surely she would be on the internet somewhere by now” by that I mean she must have a profile on Facebook, myspace, bebo, friends reunited or something!! Yet try as I might I can’t find her, is it lazy on my part that I can’t be bothered to find her address or lazy on hers that she hasn’t caught up with the modern age yet and joined facebook like 30 million other people in the world? I don’t know which?

However, despite their being 30 million people signed up to facebook, I don’t feel a need to be friends with them all, yes if people add me as a friend I’ll accept them I’m not bothered about it really but why are people adding me as a friend when really, we never spoke at all, one girl is my “Friend” on facebook, she didn’t really like me and I wasn’t overly fond of her, I thought she was too much of a wannabe, she was sweet enough just a bit dumb. I haven’t spoken to her in over 10 years and despite adding me as a friend its likely to be another 10 at least before speaking to her again, I don’t see the point? If you’re not really friends with someone why add them? Again, it goes back to laziness, all of my close friends from school apart from a couple are now just “Virtual friends” They will poke me on facebook, so I’ll poke back, if they are too lazy to write anything on my wall then I’m dammed if I’m gonna write anything on theres! I’ll try and write on people’s walls but again part of me really can’t be bothered, what’s the point in all honesty?
All that is ever said is “HI, long time no speak, how are you” of course it’s a long time – there’s probably a reason you don’t talk anymore – the world moved on! If you read their profile though you’ll pretty much find out how they are, married, kids, divorced, lotto millionaire, hooker, so there you go, no need to ask the question anymore and that’s that, back to being a virtual friend!!
I wont say all bad things about Facebook though as I think it’s a great site and those friends who I have lost contact with who I might not have wanted to I can still stay in touch with, if they are signed up, one of my best mates emigrated to America, Facebook gives me the chance to still chat to her and view pictures of how she is doing – though she really shouldn’t have cut her hair short!! Another one of my mates is married with child now and I kept forgetting her child’s name (and the sex of said child!!), which kept on earning me a virtual slapping but now its on Facebook, I wont forget, Joshua….. See, imprinted in my head!!

But has it all been invented because we are just getting more and more lazier? One of my mates lives in Reading, bit of a trek for me, likewise for him in this direction so we hardly see each other anymore at all, last time I saw him was November last year, spoke to him via his wall on facebook and the odd email – but what’s wrong with picking up a phone and saying “Fancy a beer?” Is it just Britain where we have this obsession with virtual friends? I’m as guilty as the next man for not seeing my friends enough, I’ll openly admit it but how do you change the spiral you’re in without convincing others to do the same thing? We should have a “National turn off your computers day” Think of the energy saved and all the things you could do instead!

And yet I say this as I am writing a blog, on my computer……………it’s a strange, strange world………….

2007-08-14T13:48:00.000+01:00

It’s been a while for a rant and I cant believe I blogged yesterday and I have need for another blog today. I was listening to the news today and I really cannot believe the time and effort our police ‘service’ waste on stupid wasteful meaningless tasks. My first point there is going to be who decided to change the name? It used to be “Police Force” Force is a much stronger word and changing it to ‘Service’ is so bloody gay, its makes our police out to be a bunch of ponces and lets be honest, most are! They employ people called “Diversity inclusion officers” to make sure that the ‘service’ has plenty of gay & lesbian people signing up. I have nothing against gay and lesbian people don’t get me wrong but I don’t want to become one just to be able to get a job as a police officer its pathetic!

Back to the main point though, I have mentioned before that our prisons are busting at the seams so the government are releasing people back into society because they have served long enough, never mind that they might have killed a few people, raped a few people, molested some children, they are no longer deemed a danger so they get released, I can’t remember the statistics for re-offending I have read it somewhere and it is really, really high yet still they are continuing the early release programme, its shocking. So with this you think the police ‘service’ would be overrun with problems, from people re-offending to the new knife and gun crimes that are happening daily at the moment. I am certain that if I was in the police force I would be concentrating on catching criminals. The people who disrupt lives from the “minor” crime of burglary to murder they are the people I would want to be catching and surely every other police officer in the land would want to be catching and locking up these criminals – yes?

No.

Birmingham police force has today announced a major crackdown on…………….. Nuisance car drivers those men who hang out of the car window and wolf whistle at women. OH MY FUCKING GOD, do they really have NOTHING better to do with their time? I am pretty sure that even the women being whistled at would tell the police to get on with something worthwhile. I know I blogged about how could I waste my day yesterday but if I was a police officer I wouldn’t think that I would have enough time in the day to waste doing stupid tasks like this! They have actually cautioned two people for having their car stereo too loud!!! I just want to scream so much!! It was only about 4 years ago I wanted to be in the police and I came pretty close to joining, however, I wasn’t black, gay, under 5ft 4, overweight or disabled in any way, so didn’t fit into the diversity inclusion model. So much of me now though is really glad that I didn’t get in, I wouldn’t want to be cautioning people for playing music! I would want to be chasing people down alleyways because they have just robbed a post office, catching the bastard and putting my foot into his head to stop him that is what I look for in a policeman. Not someone who stands still while Muslims burn the English flag in front of him, not someone who can’t put handcuffs on a criminal for fear of being sued for harassment, certainly not someone who arrests a bloke for wolf whistling!

Somebody high up needs to get a grip on this before it spirals completely out of control and our police ‘service’ are prancing around the streets in tutus with fluffy dogs hanging out of their pockets. Get back to basics, that’s my theory, get back to banjoing!!!

2007-08-13T20:13:00.001+01:00

Why do we work?

I have been sat at my desk for 3.5 hours now, doing things to do with my football team, emailing my mates, checking out my money situation and now – writing this!

I could do all this at home but roughly I have earned over £55 this morning (before tax) and I have done NOTHING for it. If I had internet access I’d have added that to the list of time wasting activities but as this company is so sodding old fashioned you cant access any decent websites here! So why do we bother? I really want to be in a job which I love, where I don’t need to worry about how to waste my day, where I can sit at my desk, not look at the clock and then all of a sudden think “My god its time to go home” Instead, I am sat here thinking “1223, is that all, its not even sodding lunchtime yet”

In fact, it has taken an hour for me to write this much because I have been talking to my colleague about how rubbish work is! I have looked at other possibilities and I still am, including some possible web design work but don’t you just wish that you could just go to some huge job centre and say “I want to be xxx and I want to earn xxx” and by the end of the day you are in the job that you want to be doing earning what you want to earn? Obviously this would be within reason coz if I turned up and said I want to be a brain surgeon and I want to earn 425k a year that’d be a bit silly but if I could just say “I want to be a football agent and I want to earn at least 30k a year plus commission” I think that’s reasonable but to become a football agent you have to go through all sorts of exams which end up costing about 20k!! How the hell can I just do that? Talk about annoying

To become a driving instructor you have to pay nearly 3 grand to start out – I cant even afford that! We really do make it hard for everyone in this country to do what they want to do. The amount of students that qualify from Uni and then go and work in Bars and restaurants for years is unreal. I know a girl who is as bright as anything, she is very clever, she worked in McDonalds part time to pay her way through uni, she qualified, went travelling for a bit and when she came back took up her old job to pay her debts, that was 8 years ago, she is now a successful manager with lots of staff under her…. In her own restaurant….. of McDonalds……… yes that is an extreme case and kind of smacks of laziness on her part but in the less extreme cases its because the jobs simply aren’t out there so we have to stick to what we know in my case IT. It is so boring but its all I know and if I want to change career I have to take a huge pay cut which I cant afford to do, it’s a vicious horrible shitty circle but how do we get out of it?

I can kind of see the sense in people who just want to earn a couple of hundred grand really quickly and then give up work completely, I’d love that! Say you went on “Who wants to be a millionaire?” You win £125,000 most people, surely would give up work? I would, I would quit that very day, yes its only £125k No it wont cover the mortgage but so what? If you use the money wisely you can pay off the biggest debts and then train to be what you want to be but you need an influx of money to be able to do it, £125k is basically five years wages for me so yes even with that small an amount I would hang up my headset and get on with life!! Would you?

2007-07-11T19:46:00.000+01:00

The Life Update:

My new job, well, it sucks! They actually expect me to work during the day – what’s that about!! OK I expect to work so I am just kidding but there are times during the day when the mind has had enough and it just needs to switch off, am I right or am I right? I work in IT which is tedious at the best of times and health and safety rules state that you should have a ten minute break every two hours because of sitting in front of the screen, I have never done this in any of my jobs because I’ve never needed to as there have been moments where I can just go and chill out somewhere – but this job, I need it on occasions. So I picked up the paper for a quick skim through, my bosses boss (lets call him prick –it suits him) comes in and says “What are you doing reading the paper, have the time to do that during the day do you”

My insides are screaming “NO YOU FUCKING PRICK IM HAVING A BIT OF A BREAK” he spends all his days in meetings so has no clue about being stuck in front of a computer all day but as it’s a new job, I cant quite hit him yet.

Last Thursday it was 527pm (I finish at 530) I had opened the BBC website to catch up on the news and he comes behind me. He then said “Can I have a word” We walked out of the room and he moaned at me for being on the Internet in work hours! Again I am screaming I GO HOME IN THREE MINUTES but what can I do? He has also moaned about the clothes that I have been wearing??????? WHAT THE FUCK I always wear smart clothes yet because my trousers were beige and not black I got whinged at – it was the only hot day we have had this summer and I work in an office that isn’t air conditioned I am GOING to wear lighter trousers thankyou very much you prick!

The work itself is quite interesting, I am not answering the phones at the moment which is brilliant, it’s a nice break after talking to stupid people for the last ten years who ring up with such beauty’s as “Where’s the start button”? FUCK ME how long have you been using a computer? So not having to talk to idiots is a nice blessing and setting up a helpdesk is interesting it’s something that I will be able to take to future jobs.
I feel I need to get a little bit more involved but it’s alright, I am writing training procedures, 166 procedures to be precise and it’s a good learning curve.
However once that is done I think its going to be a bit dull and we will then move to an open plan office and I just KNOW that the bosses will be like meerkats, constantly popping their heads up from their desks checking what websites we’re on, or why we are not at our desk, its gonna be a frigging nightmare – so I’m already looking to leave! I want a career now rather than just another job, difficult thing is I only know IT so not quite sure where I can start but hopefully I’ll figure something out soon!

As for the rest of life, well, what can I say – I sold my flat the other day, two years after I bought it for a profit of 17 grand! That is NIIIIICCCCEEE, I was well pleased £128,000 now just got to find somewhere to move into and we’ll be on the second rung of the property ladder, the next place though has to be a 2 bed house which is proving quite difficult to come by. We saw 5 places 2 weekends ago, one of them was truly brilliant for the price and was going to be snapped up straight away – unfortunately for us it was L we were gutted about that, the second favourite has a chain which means it wont be sold until December –friggin December! Who says they are going to move out of their house and then decides it won’t be for another 5 months. So that’s basically that one out of the running and the other three all had various things wrong with them, the third one was OK but needed work doing to the kitchen and bathroom.

The other two, well, not even worth mentioning, one of them was shocking, I wonder what goes through peoples minds when they stick these places on the market. My flat looks SOOOO good, I had an offer on it 1 hour, ONE HOUR after the FIRST viewing, I had an improved offer 3 hours later and it sold. Bang. That’s how you sell a place – the place I viewed was dark, it had two computers in the sitting room which made it look cramped, it was themed like a Hollywood movie set, it had about a thousand videos on the landing upstairs making it look half the size it was, the main bedroom was painted dark blue, and I’m talking really dark, and the second bedroom was bright pink – which amazingly enough, was the best room in the house!

That house is still on the market………….

So we’re still hunting around I’m certain the right place is out there it’s just a matter of finding it and being patient. I’m not going to jump into the first house that becomes available, we have to think “WOW” when we walk in, I want the feeling we had the first time we walked into my current flat.

The only people who read this blog will know where I’m going next – have been so proud recently! My god the graduation ceremony was boring but for the fleeting seconds that Lindsay was on stage with about 2000 eyeballs on her and 2 cameras it was awesome, I’d never been to a graduation before and never expected it to be like the whole American hoopla that goes on but it was very special, very traditional and just seeing her in the gown and dodgy hat thingy was brilliant, she might have thought she looked stupid but I don’t think she could have looked any better that day, it was awesome. A strange way to spend a birthday admittedly but I didn’t care, I have a birthday every year – well, apart from next year, I’m not having one next year J

Lots else going on, football season is just round the corner again which is cool, have started pre-season training, its well weird in a way, I have always managed to bring players into my club on varying degrees of success, directly or indirectly I have been involved in Danny, Ben, Aaron, Phil Gasson, Alex, Paul J, Meths, John Morrison, Liam, Martin and Jason all signing for the team, this summer I have managed to acquire the services of potentially 6 new players, one of which is a goalkeeper which we are desperate for, I don’t know why but I find it really exciting when I can bring in so many new players, nobody else on the team can do that, I for some reason have a knack – I do wonder if there’s a career there somewhere, being a scout or a football agent, something like that? Hmmm, maybe that’s something I could look into! I wonder if I could do a course on being a football agent!! I am looking forward to the unveiling of the new players – I think my current team mates are going to be quite shocked by the calibre I have bought in! It does help being a referee though, I get to ref on Tuesday nights and see a lot of good players, the two I have approached from there both look like signing.

Ah yes, the reffing, while writing a big update might as well include that! Loving every minute of it, the Tuesday night thing, the games are half hour long, and there is four games a night, one of the teams last night finished their game at 9pm and they stuck around till 10pm (end of last game) to congratulate me on how well I was doing! That meant a lot to me, one of the guys who stuck around used to be semi-pro and is a fantastic player, he scored 7 of his teams 9 goals last night, he said that I get nearly every decision bang on, despite the whinging that goes on he likes the way it doesn’t phase me! I even carded a player last night (which in these 5-a-side rules means he has to leave the pitch for four minutes) and he congratulated me on getting the decision spot on!! That was weird, mostly because he’s a big scary fucker and you would think he’d want to hit me!!

So now its time for the rant, fucking suicide bombers, most countries have had a few of these evil scum infecting their society now but for some reason Britain seems to revel in it. I love the fact that the Glaswegians attacked one of the bombers after his car didn’t explode and I quote from the hero of the hour “We wanted him to know that this is Glasgow so we set about him, we all put a boot in, then we banjoed him” I have NO idea what ‘banjoing him’ means – I’m guessing its nothing to do with the film deliverance, but it sounds painful, why cant the police be more like that? Banjo some people who commit crime that would stop them (I think)!
Anyway – this bomber who got banjoed is now in an NHS hospital being cared for by our nurses, he is costing the country 5 grand a day to try and keep him alive? WHY? The fucker wanted to blow up an airport and kill dozens of innocent people! I say strap a bomb to him, stick him in an inflatable dinghy in the sea somewhere and set the fucker off. Why should we keep him alive? He WANTED to die and he WANTED to take lots of people with him so lets just give him what he WANTS, he has no motive on this planet, he has no reason to be alive now, he probably doesn’t even know that he is alive, so lets kill the fucker before he wakes up and gets given a chance to do it again.

And as for the others that are currently being held – stick them in the dinghy with him and see if they can diffuse the bomb before it goes off like the brave policeman did with the London bomb. I bet they couldn’t and BOOM just like that Britain would send out a message to terrorists that we are no longer an easy target, but no, the government think these scumbags actually have human rights, fucking useless idiots, they no longer have human rights, they tried to take away lives, therefore their privileges get taken away. Simple. End of story.

That will do for now, phew! Bit of a long one, but I’ve written it at work being as I cant access the internet……… whistles while he pretends to carry on working…….

2007-05-02T10:47:00.000+01:00

Liverpool

For the 2nd time in 3 seasons Liverpool have reached the Champions League final. This post is just for Raw Thoughts really!

RT, trust me, get your boy in on this bandwagon, the champions league final is the biggest club competition in the world, it involves the greatest teams in Europe all competing for "ole Big Ears"

Liverpool are the most successful British club in this competion and have won it 5 times and we are now gunning for a 6th - oh to be able to beat Man Utd in that!

Last nights game was a treat, beating Chelsea 4-1 on penalties was truly awesome, those that dont 'get' football wont really understand it but those that know about true passion and spirit will understand that yesterday was an awesome event and I couldnt be bloody happier this morning. Especially working with Chelsea fans! Come on you red men 23rd May in Athens, here we come!!!

2007-04-20T11:42:00.000+01:00

I got a new job.....

Woo-hoo! More money, closer to home and what looks like to be a more interesting role!!

Plus my new boss is a liverpool fan......... FINALLY get rid of all the chelsea scummers that surround me!

2007-04-20T10:24:00.000+01:00

Too much food will kill you

Scientists in America have found that by cutting salt by a fifth from your diet will significantly decrease your chance of getting high blood pressure which will prevent serious heart attacks and stroke.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6570933.stm

Scientists have also been studying coffee, too much of that will be bad for your heart and will probably kill you due to a high cholesterol level

http://www.drinks-business-review.com/article_news.asp?guid=B5E6DA11-D060-4055-B174-D46F3FE0621F

There has also been a study into fast food, too much of it will kill you

http://media.www.newsrecord.org/media/storage/paper693/news/2004/04/22/Opinion/Reliance.On.Fast.Food.Will.Kill.You-690656.shtml

Also it has been noted that in some parts of the world because our oceans are effectively a large sewer then the fish you eat, will kill you

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10397302

Easter eggs, they’ll kill you too http://www.nowpublic.com/easter_eggs_can_kill_you

Red meat, well that causes cancer doesn’t it http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/04/04/nmeat04.xml

Chicken – don’t even think about it, that has salmonella http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=UJDOFCE1OLSZ1QFIQMFSFFOAVCBQ0IV0?xml=/news/2007/04/04/nmeat104.xml

Some good news, chocolate wont kill you – but then it probably will
http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/the-good-news-is-chocolate-wont-kill-you-the-bad-news-is-it-will/2005/08/04/1123125851931.html

I’m sure you are all waiting to find out what the hell my point is! Well I heard on the radio this morning the top story (salt) and all I could think was, why the hell do scientists bother with this shit? Everything in moderation is fine! If you ate 20lbs of Steak a day, then yes, I would expect to die fairly quickly.

What I don’t understand is why there are scientists in this world who bother to waste their time on such trivial things, I hate to tell you this people but we are all going to die, if I die by eating chocolate then I will be very, very surprised. Why waste the money? What is the sodding point, I don’t think a day goes by where I don’t read the next thing that will kill you, nothing has been left out, coffee, red wine, tea, milk, cheese, chicken, eggs, fish, salt, sugar, SEX, too much sex will kill you????? Well, that’s the way I’d like to go!

Stop wasting vast amounts of money on working out which things are going to kill us, NOBODY CARES, yes we know TOO MUCH will kill us, but I would expect to die if I poured a packet of salt down my throat every day but I’m sensible enough not to do that, I know there are stupid people in this world but surely not that stupid? Find a cure for Aids instead, that’s a challenge, do it, do it now, spend some money on that for a change!

2007-04-19T13:47:00.000+01:00

Hello again fellow bloggers!

Its been a while, March 8th, wow, has been a long time, while everyone else have been busy little bees posting like mad I’ve been busy arguing my arse off on one of my fave sites, it is great for debating and shooting down the twats of the world who think they are right – when clearly, its me that’s right all the time! They haven’t learnt yet, but they will, poor little minions.

I’ve also been busy in many aspects of life, job hunting has slowed a little bit but a company who two weeks ago said no to me because I was too inexperienced for one job and too good for the other want to see me again, presumably because they want to see if I can fit in the middle somewhere, have an interview there tonight so fingers crossed I’ll be able to leave by this time next week. That would be wicked, especially after the meeting yesterday when the Getronics HR came in and said that basically they want 5 people working for Philips, currently there are 9 of us! That’s math that doesn’t work, especially as they have said they don’t want to get rid of any of us…… dozy bastards!

I passed my football (note: football, not soccer) referees exam as well so have been busy with that, earning a bit of extra cash for practically doing nothing, its been cool, I have booked 4 people so far, which in 5-a-side football means they have to leave the pitch for 4 minutes, take four minutes of football away from snarling idiots is not the easiest thing to do so its been a great learning experience and I have loved doing it so far. Have my first meeting tonight, about 30 referees in one room, Patrick Viera's favourite place no doubt, am looking forward to it, should be cool.

One of the main reasons though for not blogging as much of course has been the great weather, man do I feel like I have taken happy pills this morning, what’s happening to me, it has been pretty good so far, 10 degrees hotter than average for this time of year, if this really is global warming then I say bring it on, everyone is happier, skirts are shorter, life is grand, nothing wrong with it in my eyes.

I do have one major thing to say though and its a serious one.

I’ve touched on the subject before about paedophiles and I feel like more should be done, reason is, I have just read a book in two days, in fact, take away time asleep and time at work and I probably read it in about 4 hours total, now I don’t read books but this had me gripped, I suggest to any parent to buy it and read it. Sara Payne: A mother’s story, the English will have no doubt who it is, other people who read this blog might not, but they might I don’t know how far the news travelled when it happened.

It’s a true story about an angelic 8 year old girl who was snatched off the street and murdered by a known paedophile. This has prompted massive calls for changes in the law and has been called “Sarah’s Law” it is a very similar case to that which prompted Megan’s Law in the states, the difference being is that the Americans took 89 days to change laws, it is coming up to the 7th anniversary of her death this year and still the government are pussy footing around, putting the rights of the paedophile first and I think its disgusting.

I don’t have children but I wholeheartedly support this campaign. Why should parents live in fear not knowing if there is a convicted paedo living near them? Of course you will never stop everyone but if you knew that there were some in an area you were visiting you would certainly be more cautious about letting your children out of your sight like Sara Payne did to her daughter. Why is the government so worried about paedos “Going underground” surely if they aren’t signed onto the sex offenders register then they are already underground? Out of 150,000 sex offenders in this country only 12,000 of them are on the register. That’s a big number of convicted attackers not accounted for 64% of sex offenders, re-offend within 4 years! Where are they? Does anyone know? Of course not, they are allowed to roam free wherever they please.

Roy Whiting, the man convicted of Sarah Payne’s murder, is classed as a murderer, not, for some reason, a sex offender, therefore in the unlikely event that he is ever released from prison then he won’t have to sign the sex offenders register? Why the fuck not? He kidnapped, sexually assaulted and murdered an 8 year old girl?? That makes no sense whatsoever and typical of the shoddy way this country is run!

Since Sarah Payne’s murder there have been a lot of children killed in this country, not all of them by paedophiles admittedly but children are the future and more should be done to protect them. I am not in anyway forgetting the horrific murders of people like Victoria Climbie, but by focusing on Sarah’s law we will eliminate so much grief from society, the murders of Danielle Jones, Jessica Chapman & Holly Wells and Milly Dowler were all high profile cases and in the case of Jessica and Holly was another case just like Sarah Payne’s.

Had the families known that Ian Huntley was a sex offender then they would have told their children to never go into his house. Instead because he was the school caretaker they assumed he was safe, went into his house and only came out to be dumped in a field and burned to get rid of evidence after he had killed them. This is sickening and should not be allowed to happen, yet it does happen, on a regular basis it seems. Milly Dowlers killer has never been found, 5 years now yet because it was five years ago people have forgotten about it, how do her parents get some form of closure knowing he is still out there? Danielle Jones killer is the exception, she was murdered by her uncle and since his conviction he has not told anyone where the body is. People like him really need to die.

I have also been reading another book, its by Gordon Smith, he is a medium and I finished that yesterday as well, for someone who doesn’t read books that’s quite impressive, anyway, if you read Sara Payne’s book and feel upset by it, then read a bit of Gordon Smith, I wont spoil it as Lindsay is reading Sara’s book at the moment but there is a bit at the end in the second to last chapter of Sara’s book which links the two together, I had a lump in my throat as I read the line and it was so heart-warming and she told the story so well that you kind of hoped that it would be true and from reading Gordon’s book, I know it to be true!!
There is always hope after crimes like this, but the pain will never go away, I’m sure that if someone out there stepped up to the plate and really made Sarah’s Law happen then our world will be a better place for it. I’d love to kick the government out and take over but where do I sign up? How do I do it? Do I need someone to fund a political party? You just wait Tony Blair; I’ll be on your doorstep soon smashing your door in!

2007-03-08T17:02:00.000Z

OK, I'll get back to you soon.....

I need to rant, it’s been too long. I absolutely detest agencies, I am looking for a new job as my current company are making me redundant, when I first heard all I could think was “Bastards” but since then I have seen so many jobs in this area on much better money that I think its probably for the best, however that’s where the feel good vibe falls down for the moment, since I have been looking I have had agencies ring me about jobs in Portsmouth, Reading, Winchester, Woking, Guildford, Haslemere, Hindhead, Farnham, Aldershot, Godalming, Addlestone, Camberley, Farnborough, Slough, Staines, Bracknell, Basingstoke, Chichester – to name but a few.

Not just for any old two bit companies either, big companies, like Avaya, Marsh Insurance, British Car Auctions, Touchpaper. I even had one company ring me about a job going at Allianz Cornhill – he obviously didn’t read my CV coz I left there as they are a right bunch of tossers.

And that’s what really gets my goat, the agencies are just so plain bloody stupid – why can no agency think for themselves. I was security cleared in 1999, that’s 8 years ago, it expires every single year. One agency rung up and asked if I was still cleared, I obviously said no and HE told ME to remove it from my CV???? WTF If you had read my CV you fucking idiot you would clearly know that I am no longer security cleared. Why do they find it so impossible to read a CV it has all your details on and then they ring you up, have a 20 minute conversation about what you have been up to and THEN they say OK I’ll be in touch if anything comes up!! WHAT, What a waste of my time you twat, grrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I’ve got so annoyed with them that I am half giving up answering the phone – if its important enough they will leave a message, sure enough I’m getting left messages, one guy yesterday called me about a job in Farnham, I like Farnham it’s a great location for me so I call him back – not there, call him again after “lunch” unavailable, left my number. I emailed him this morning – still no response TOSSER, all I want is a little bit of info, let me be the one who decides yes or no.

What happened to the days when you could just walk into a company and say “Look here’s my CV, throw it at your IT bods let me know what they think” they’d ring you, offer you a nice salary and Bobs your mums brother.

I had a telephone interview yesterday, woman rings me up, gives me her name, we have a brief chat, she asked if I had heard about her company, I said yes, had the briefest of brief conversations and in about 1 minute and 20 seconds she says “Yep, that’s all I needed, I like the sound of your voice I’d like to see you for a face to face interview” WHAT THE HELL WAS THE POINT IN THAT, my CV states that I have been on customer focused servicedesks for TEN YEARS its pretty bloody obvious that I can talk on the phone and no offence lady but two of the companies on my CV are much bigger than the one you work for.

So they offer me an interview, good stuff!!! 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon, I’m sorry, do you not think I have any other work to be doing? I don’t know, like my day to day job? I can’t just get up and walk out when I feel like it! For fuck sake, why don’t they ever come back with sensible times? I have a good mind to just tell them to go and fuck it and hang back waiting for the potential other jobs that I have in the pipeline.

I suppose the good thing about that though is that I have heard back, at least that makes a nice change, why do agencies always “just forget” you? I had a possible opportunity at Avaya, I work right next door to them at the moment so would be perfect for me – have I heard back from the agency? Have I bollocks! Once I find a new job I am going to email all the useless agencies that I know off something like

“Thankyou for finding the perfect job for me, unfortunately due to your obvious lack of communication skills hell froze over and I had to take another role that was offered to me. I feel that you have let your agency down as I could have created a lot of money for you, as here I am sat on a beach in Bermuda typing away on my work based laptop earning my current company thousands of pounds because I am so fucking good at my job – and there you are, in a poxy little office struggling to undo your tie because you are feeling the heat from not contacting me when you had the chance, you useless pile of crap.

Yours truly, Paul”

2007-03-07T14:53:00.000Z

Just for you Raw Thoughts..................

Ssssssssh, dont tell anyone..........With Lin putting those pics up I feel its only right to supplement that with these, I keep saying I am going to enter her in FHM High Street Honeys - maybe this year!

2007-03-05T08:54:00.000Z

Part 3 of 3 - Some Practical Advice

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down it's throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Manchester United fans. Save money on expensive new kits by simply strapping a large fake penis to your forehead. Your allegiance is now clear to all.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
Keep the seat next to you on the train vacant by smiling and nodding at people as they walk up the aisle.
Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at the chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the fucking thing in the first place, you fat bastards.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whisky. The following morning you can create the effects of a hangover by drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Make bath times as much fun for kiddies as a visit to the seaside by pouring a bucket of sand, a bag of salt and a dog turd into the bath.
Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a sand pit in your garden and shag every bloke who looks at you over the fence.
Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.
Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic.
Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard.
Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again.
A next door neighbour's car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal coat hanger in an emergency.
Hijackers. Avoid a long stressful siege and the risk of arrest, imprisonment or death by simply making sure you book a flight to your intended destination in the first place.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you've taken anabolic steroids by running a bit slower.
Chelsea fans. Avoid an asymmetrical bulge in your right arm by masturbating furiously with your left arm too.
Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the loo seat by simply pissing in the sink.
Weedy fellas. Develop a right forearm like Arnold Schwarzeneggar by buying one of those Cindy Crawford workout videos.
Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they're always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc 'tastes exactly like the real thing', they won't know any difference.
Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you'd no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
Spice up your sex life by trying a bit of 'rodeo sex'. Take your missus from behind and, holding on tightly to her jugs, call her by the wrong name. See how long you can 'stay mounted' for.
Before attempting to remove stubborn stains from a garment always circle the stain in permanent pen so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
Give comics that 'Pulp Fiction' feel by reading the last frames of cartoons first, then reading the rest in a random order.
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Heavy smokers. Don't throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you'll have enough to insulate your loft.
Motorists. Enjoy the freedom of cycling by removing your windscreen, sticking half a melon skin on you head, then jumping red lights and driving the wrong way up one way streets.
Create instant designer stubble by sucking a magnet and dipping your chin in a bowl of iron filings.
A sheet of sandpaper makes a cheap and effective substitute for costly maps when visiting the Sahara desert.
Convince neighbours that you have invented 'SHRINKING' device by ruffling your hair, wearing a white laboratory coats and parking a JCB digger outside your house for a few days. Then dim and flicker the lights in your house during the night and replace the JCB unseen, with a Tonka toy of the same description. Watch their faces in the morning!
Have all your shits at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you'll also be getting paid for it.
Nissan Micra drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgem cars anyway, so it may as well look like one.
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep in the mornings.

2007-03-02T11:00:00.000Z

Part 2 of 3 (possibly found a 4th though)
The hypothetical questions we all love:

What if that wasn’t the way I liked it?
What if smarties didn’t have an answer?
What if I worked nights, how would I night nurse my cold to sleep?
Do people actually wash their head AND shoulders with shampoo?
Who tastes pet food to know that it “Now tastes even better”?
Why is it than when something is marked 50% extra free, its only the packaging?
Why are there no virgin stewardesses on virgin?
Why in this world of equal opportunities is there no fathercare?
What would hairdressers do if everyone became bald?
How come no-one knows what “Vorsprung derch technique” means?
Why hasn’t mystic meg ever won the lottery?
Why does James Bond seem to get younger in every film?
How come O.J Simpson was not found guilty?
Yet in the same country uproar because George Michael was having a Tommy Tank?
Will the teabag ever be square again?
What use really was the millennium dome, bit of a one off event that don’t ya think?
Why were rice krispie squares called squares, they were bloody rectangle for gods sake! Maybe that’s why they didn’t last too long?
Who thought of the name ‘penguin’ for a chocolate biscuit, its not like they are associated in anyway is it?
How would the worlds population survive if we were all male ……….(Quietly) ?
What if calculators sometimes got it wrong, they can’t exactly say sorry can they?
What would happen if there was no money, would we need to work? Would everything be free?
What if once you got to 99 you stopped ageing and lived forever getting younger, imagine that, 190 and at the height of sexual powers having a bed bath!
Did the queen send her mum a telegram on her 100th before she croaked?
How come the Chinese got such a cocked up language?
Come to think of it, have you ever met anyone whos said “I’m fluent in chinese” ?
Why are beauties always attracted to beasts?
Why do people say “Oh it was in the last place I looked” well of course it was you muppet coz once you’ve found it you aren’t going to carry on looking are ya - dickhead?
If man has evolved from Monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes, do they have to pass a test or something?
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What did cured ham actually have?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for Prime Minister and fifty for Miss England?
If a 999 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
When you’re fat - you sign up for an exercise class why do they say; "Wear loose fitting clothes" - if you had loose fitting clothes in the first place it wouldn’t be a problem!
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

When you go on holiday and you go to an Airport to get onto a metal tube that blasts you into the sky are you nervous that while waiting for it you are in a TERMINAL?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial lemons, yet washing up liquid made with real ones?

2007-03-01T14:18:00.000Z

Part 1 of 3

I set up a website years ago, then I destroyed said website as I got bored, since then I created a couple more including the only one that I have left, AWFC I used to have fun though, it was my old style blogging if you like. Well today, being sooooooooooo fucking bored at work with bugger all today, I went hunting for all my old shit and with the help of 20 somethings way back machine I found my old site - my god I wrote some crap, I was about 20/21 when I wrote these, they are all quite long so I thought I would share one by one coz they got me laughing and thinking:

Firstly, my pearls of wisdom. Some are plagurised, some I wrote I'll highlight my personal faves;

Look on the world as a big fruit cake it wouldn’t be complete without a few nuts in it

Never say sorry to anyone unless it is genuinely your fault
Life is merely a party that god has placed you in

Live each day as though it were your last, you’ll end up doing many weird things

Don’t leave things that you wish to do until later, they are usually the much better things to do

Never go swimming in white shorts, unless your on holiday

Take each corner with anticipation of what waits around it

Man goes with woman, food goes with fat, fist does not go with face

Don’t rush into sex with someone you don’t know…… ask their name

Work is just build up to many hours of play

Weekends are for fun, don’t work

The man who gets ahead is the man who works when there is no work to do

Never give up the chase on the office secretary, time will wait for Christmas

Stay on the good side of a bad boss, don’t take advantage of a good one

Youth lives on hope, old age on memory

Time waits for no man, yet man can wait for time

The longest wait of your life is usually for the greatest pleasure

Time is our greatest enemy, yet we have plenty of it

Life is like a bath, the longer you stay in it the more wrinkled you get

Be positive and assertive, it gets you everywhere

To achieve your lifes ambition you have to start on the bottom rung of the ladder

If you don’t have confidence in your own abilities, no-one else will

Don’t criticise women drivers when they are driving, there bad enough without another lapse in concentration

If you feel you’ve overstayed your welcome, don’t stay any longer, who knows what you walked in on

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, all play and no work makes him a very poor one

By all means look before you leap but don’t look too long or the pleasure will be gone

The city of love is Paris, the city of lust is Rome, the city of life is London, so surely the city of sex is Bangkok?

A lie has no legs so cannot stand, but it has wings and can fly far and wide

The only way to have a friend is to be one

Do all the good you can to all the people you can in all the ways you can

Suspicion is often a useless pain

Love is the only thing in life you have to earn: everything else you can steal

The first thing needed to make a dream come true is to wake up

A thing is not vulgar merely because it is common

Everything comes to those who go after what the others are only waiting for

There is a big difference to giving advice and lending a hand

A man who makes a mistake becomes a bigger man when he admits it

Rise above it

If at first you don’t succeed buy her another drink

If at first you don’t succeed skydiving isnt for you…..<br>
When easy does it, somebody usually has to do it again

Constant use will wear out anything, especially friends

The curve that can set a lot of things straight is a smile

A perfectionist takes infinite pains and often gives them to other people

Happiness happens to people to busy to be miserable

Go ahead! Do things but do not be afraid to shoulder responsibility

Nature, time and patience are the three great physicians

She will always be a slave who does not know how to live a little

Too many people go through life running from something that isn’t after them

It is always wise to look ahead but not easy to look further than you can see

Fondness is when the heart does the minds job

When the goings good, be doing good

Reality is a hallucination caused by lack of alcohol

Don’t get mad, jealous or uptight, don’t get even, get better

Be good, if you cant be good, be very, very bad

Be afraid of nothing, with being caught an exception

When you’re at your lowest point, look up, it’s the only way to go

You can kill men and cripple nations, but you cant kill a good idea

If a man can see both sides of the problem, you know he’s not involved in it

To see through a man, get an x-ray or speak to an ex-girlfriend

It is better to deserve trust and not have it than to have it and not deserve it

It is much wiser to choose what you say rather than say what you choose

It is human nature to think wisely and act foolishly

Love is a quest, marriage a conquest, divorce the inquest

It matter not how a man dies but how he lives

Good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement

If you have tried your hand at something and failed, next time try your head

If you think nothing is impossible try sneezing with your eyes open

The great pleasure in life is doing something that others say you cannot do

Behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law

Don’t judge a mans temper until you’ve seen him with a wife, a child and no spare tyre

Four ‘o’ clock is either too early or too late to start anything

Home is where the heart is, but not necessarily the mind

All the pains of life are always eased when you pass away

When all else fails, try, try, try again, if that fails, get drunk and be happy

I am paid for what I know……..not what I do

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labour!

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realise you haven't fallen asleep yet.

2007-02-27T09:06:00.000Z

Living the fat bastard dream.

Some of the news storys I have been reading recently I just cant quite believe, its not been a big week for the government and politics apart from the whole charging per mile issue that they have got going on but that’s not likely to be implemented for another 10 years, if ever, so I guess I have plenty of time to moan about that. It’s the whole freaky eaters thing that’s caught my attention. I just cant quite believe the state this country is getting itself into. Check this out I didnt watch the show as I dont have digital but I heard about it. These people just wont eat ANYTHING else apart from the ONE thing they are used to, imagine that, how the hell can you just eat one thing. It is only on episode two so I might try and find a way to watch some of the others but the one I know about is addicted to chips, this girl will only eat chips, chips and more chips! She is 20 years old, how can you live like that? Her mum was on the show and she was saying "I dont know what to do to stop her eating chips, its all she will eat"

Heres a hint:

STOP BUYING CHIPS, my god, how thick are you woman?? Stop buying chips and Im sure she will soon learn to eat something else, its not difficult is it. The whole programme centred around her addiction (obviously) and the fact that they were trying to wean her off chips and they said "At the end of the month you will go to a restaurant and order something without chips" OK, you might think, there is obviously a point to this programme and at the end of the show they take her to a restaurant, guess what she orders...... oh go on, guess..... yup, chips. Why take her to a restaurant where she CAN order chips in the first place? And the person that went with her when she ordered why didnt he go "NO you cant have chips" People are sooooo stupid!

You have to blame the parents in this, she was obviously fed a diet of a lot of crap when she was younger, including a lot of chips and this is going to kill her too young if she doesnt sort it out soon. Talking of blaming the parents the other story that has hit the headlines this week is this one an 8 year old lad weighs 14 stone (more than me) and might be taken into child care because his mother 'loves him to death' is the unfortunate turn of phrase that has been banded about. This lad quite literally eats and eats and eats..... and eats... you get the picture 14 stones though, you would have thought that somebody might have spotted this earlier? Like when he was 18 months and they had to buy 5 year olds clothes to fit in, you'd consider maybe not feeding him as much?

Why oh why are people so stupid? The lad clearly had a problem so take him to a doctor not wait until the poor mite is too fat to move without nearly collapsing from lack of breath, again the parents are totally at fault I quote his mother

"He refuses to eat fruit, vegetables and salads - he has processed foods.
"When Connor won't eat anything else, I've got to give him the foods he likes.
"I can't starve him."

YOU DOZY TART, wont eat fruit or veg?? He bloody will if it is the only thing in the house and he's that hungry. You will NEVER starve him by giving him fruit or veg, he is EIGHT years old not 30, if he refuses you simply give him a clip round the ear and tell him to go to his room or something, discipline worked wonders for me. Here's another thought, when he is sitting in your living room taking up the spaces of three young children spending 4 hours playing his computer game, turn it off and throw him outside to go for a walk, eventually that walk will turn into a jog, then a run and eventually this little fat bstard will lose some weight! It wont be done by some divine miracle, its done by simple logic. Stop feeding him so much shit and boom his weight will come down!

Although this doesnt upset me in a way that it will do some people, it shocks me that the nation is coming to this, these aren't the only cases of serious stupidity that happens in this country. I cant understand it at all, if I was a parent I would make my child eat proper healthy food, you dont take them to McDonalds for a treat, you take them to McDonalds if you want them to grow up into little fat lazy bastards. Take them instead to Subway for a treat. Use some sense world and grow up.

2007-02-16T08:45:00.000Z

Good News:
Our Government have actually decided to do something about the idiots who drive without car insurance! Fan-Bloody-Tastic, the amount of times you read about people smashing up other peoples cars then not being able to pay for it because they aren't insured.
Bad News:
The penalty is a £200 pound fine TWO HUNDRED POUNDS, what the fuck??? What sort of poxy detterent is that - bloody hell, that just makes me think that maybe I'll drive without insurance if thats all the fine you are going to get, then if you dont get caught you dont pay a single thing? Seems like a bargain way out? I paid £344 for insurance last year, I have been driving 10 years and have 9 years no claims discount and (at the moment) a clean licence.

So judging by the fact that I've had 3 accidents in 10 years, one my fault, I figure I can take the risk?? If I, a normal law abiding person, am thinking like this how are the criminals thinking? They are laughing their arses off all the way to the bank I tell ya. Most people would willingly give the government £200 if it meant covering their car for a year. Thats pathetic and typical of this sodding government. Im well pissed off about this.

More Good news:
There are plans afoot to build more jails, has someone high up been reading this blog? Am I finally getting through to someone, wow, Im shocked, someone in the government has actually realised that the way to stop crime might be to actually lock criminals up rather than let them constantly roam the streets.
With good though, comes bad news:
The plans are only for an additional 1300 spaces. For fuck sake, I could walk round london today and fill that allocation up, plans are to eventually get up to 8000 more cells because the "Prison population has stabilised" of course its fucking stabilised, we have no more room you dickheads, derrr, use your brains, Oh, thats right im sorry its on vacation in Hawaii.
And Finally.....more good news!!
Not for me, but I know that this will make a lot of people happy, there is a 24 hour concert planned in July to make people aware of the climate change happening to this earth. Despite my rantings I do think this is a good idea because countries like China and India need to be made aware that Britain is not the only country in the world destroying it, I mean compared to china we are like their little toe so its pathetic that the government over here blame us for so much. So yes hopefully this will open up the worlds eyes and not just the green brigade in Britain.
The Bad news though
Nobody has really thought about it have they? Surely it would be easier to send a DVD to the heads of states saying "Look guys, you are sending so much shit into the air the world is becoming a cess pool" Instead they are going to fly pop stars all other the globe on their private jets to concerts which will have how much wasted light energy pumped into the atmosphere? How much shit do generators spew out every minute? Its a 24 hour concert so thats a lot of exhaust fumes, think of all the people going to these concerts, if its at Hyde Park London thats 250,000 people, they will either drive or get the train causing more fumes, some may even fly from scotland! Seriously, the people in charge of the world really are stupid arent they? None of this is the worst part though. They are thinking of holding one of the concerts on the Antartic! Oh, my, god! As if we as a world havent fucked it up enough we are going to hold a concert on one of the worlds vunerable ice shelfs. Some people are just too bloody stupid for words. I'll leave it with that for now - dont get me wrong, im not a green campaigner Im just pointing out the crass stupidity that class themselves as our "leaders". Thick pieces of shite.

2007-02-15T13:47:00.000Z

Bring back death penalty?

If I was in charge I certainly would – how many of you would? I can’t stand all this weak sentencing shit and letting people off with a few years behind bars for raping a child. How many of you were shocked to hear of the story about the 2 year old being raped and murdered by her uncle. How many years in prison do you think he will get? Probably about 12 and let out in 6 for good behaviour, in fact the way things have gone recently he might not even go to prison because we don’t have any more room, our jails are full – here’s a thought FUCKING BUILD SOME MORE, doesn’t take a genius to work that one out does it? I feel like going on the rob in Sainsbury’s to get my monthly goods, they can’t jail me, they might fine me £50 but that’s cheaper isn’t it!!

What about the other case highlighted in this weeks news, some of you may have missed it because Pete Doherty was injecting drugs again so obviously that was headline news along with Robbie in Rehab, but if you filter out the crap there was a case of a four year old girl with cerebral palsy being horrifically beaten by her parents. So not only is she disabled she was subjected to torture, I’ll leave out the finer details but when they were scalding her by putting hands under burning hot taps you can kind of get the gist – how long did they get? 10 years…….10 years, that’s fucking pathetic, it wouldn’t be so bad but the girl was actually taken away and put into foster care but the frankly useless social services decided that it was best for the girl to be with her natural parents so handed her back!!! Why aren’t the buffoons who handed her back up in front of a judge with charges of cruelty hanging over their heads? That’s the problem with these social do-gooders, they think they are always doing the right thing when to be honest, they are thick as pig shit and wouldn’t have a clue which end to shit out of if they didn’t talk out of one of them.

This is why I think we should bring back the death penalty, or for these two at least, a bit of torture, why not get a big hulking bloke to throw them against a wall by their hair to see how they like it? I think as well with cases like this the ‘man’ should have the snip to save any further children he might like to spawn from the abuse he gave this little one.

We are apparently a civilised society, which is why we don’t have the death penalty, yet our closest friends and allies (good old yanks) they have it, hell they have a man in charge who has condemned hundreds of people to death in the state of Texas so why cant we, when there is without doubt who the offender is why cant we, for the good of the earth, just get rid of them? There are so many people currently living it up at her majesties pleasure in jail that we just don’t need, Ian Huntley, Peter Sutcliffe, Rose West, Beverly Allitt, Jonathan King, the list will go on and on, these are just a few off the top of my head. Kill of these and the many other perverts, rapists, child abusers and murderers and voila we suddenly have more room in our jails to get rid of more of the scum from the streets, it’s a simple theory don’t you think?

That’s the problem though, its too simple for Tony Blair and his useless cabinet, simple plans are the ones they don’t like, they would like to make criminals off us all, everyone is a criminal apart from the criminal themselves, I got pulled over for speeding the other day, I hold my hands up, I was flying, my car has two speeds, fly and stop, so it was only a matter of time, I didn’t have a problem with the copper pulling me over as soon as I saw him I was like “balls” coz I knew that £60 fine coming my way could have been better spent, what I objected to was not even the breath test – fair enough, I’d had a drink, what I really objected to was the fact that the fucking copper really wanted to make a criminal out of me by insisting I had taken drugs because my pupils were large. It was MIDNIGHT, I’d been driving in the dark for 20 minutes and I was tired, what did he expect? So he made me do all these frigging tests – he said “Stand on that line” now I swear I wasn’t on drugs, but we were in the middle of a parking area with no lines whatsoever, so I just stood opposite the other guy they seemed content with that and even after completing with ease they were still convinced I had taken something, it was getting to the stage where I was going to say “Look, just fuck off you twat” but how much of a fine would that have been?

I am not a criminal and never will be yet because of Tony Blair and company they are determined to turn everyone into this country into a criminal; it’s a sad state of affairs. Go and catch the people who cause so much shit to happen to this country, then when you catch the bad ‘uns hang the fuckers. No appeals, no cushy jail cells, no Sky TV, fuck that pisses me off to, I cant afford Sky TV because I spend all my money on bills, yet if I don’t pay my council tax, I’ll get sent to prison where I can get it for free? Where the hell is the logic in that…. I digress……There is the righteous out there who think that if a murderer admits his sins etc then he will be forgiven and by killing him he cant be forgiven WTF??? So fucking what? Once you have committed a ghastly crime like that, that’s it, no second chances, balls will be chopped off and if that doesn’t stop you then your life is ended. Bring it back, we so need it.

While I am on a role I’m going to moan about this per mile road charging thing that the government is thinking about, over 1.2 million people have signed a petition on the governments website saying that basically it’s a shit idea and one of the cabinet cronies has come out and said “We wont listen to it” not in that small a sentence but I’ve filtered out most of the shit he spouted.

We the people voted labour in so why now wont labour listen to those same people? Is it because they won’t be able to squeeze more of our hard earned out of us, of course it is! Here is a thought, him and the many other MPs like him who think that pay per mile charging is a good idea why don’t you, instead of giving yourselves a 60% pay rise, don’t! Give yourselves a 5% pay rise (which is still above inflation after all) then the rest of it you can put back into government funds and scrap the scheme altogether? Jeez with all the money that’s likely to produce you could probably lower the price on fuel as well which at the cheapest I find at the mo is 83p a litre – Americans don’t even pay that per gallon!!!

I work 24 miles away from my house, going by this bright idea, it would cost me £60 A DAY to get to work with road charging. So my alternative then – get a train, I live 5 miles from the nearest train station so that’s a £12.80 round trip, train ticket that time in the morning is £16.80 return (ouch) then because my office is so far away from the train station I cant walk it so that would have to be taxi. The long and short of this tale is, if the government get there way I can’t afford to work in Guildford. So I would have to take up some shitty office job somewhere in Whitehill, I would have to basically give up my life as I know and love it and literally become one of those council estate scummers that blight our country so much. Still by the time Labour are out we might all be council estate scummers so on the positive side at least I’d fit in….

2007-01-18T09:14:00.000Z

Cant control my rage any longer

I am SOOOOO bloody annoyed at all this big brother shit, it is just getting on my tits something chronic, Jade Bloody Goody - this vile human being was actually conceived. Two consenting adults actually had to have sex to make that? PLEASE BRITAIN WAKE UP this woman is gross stupidity at its highest and now we have had two massive doses of her on our TV screens, I dont watch this crap television but you cant escape it, its on BBC news and in all the papers and to be frank its pissing me off and there is a HUGE reason it is pissing me off, its because of things like this

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6269613.stm

Yesterday four royal marines strapped themselves to the outside of an apache helicopter to try and save the life of a colleague in heavy gunfire in Afghanistan. Now hold your hands up if you have ever been in a helicopter (I have) now hold your hands up if you have ever been strapped to the outside of one, hmmm, not many, was it an apache? Now, those that have been strapped to the outside of one have you ever been shot at while doing it? Yes I didnt think those numbers would be very high. Why the hell was this not headline news, THIS is real news, this is the sort of thing I want to hear more about, I DO NOT CARE that some nomark scouse totty told Shilpa to "go home" The scouse bird doesnt even know how to pronounce racism let alone actually be a racist, she is clearly too thick.

For the good of our country we need to stop promoting 'celeb' BB (I laugh at the word Celeb) and start promoting news stories like the marines. It was on page 9 of the sun today, it got a little column, this came after the usual topless female, 2 pages of big brother shit and Richard Hammonds car crash, admittedly im interested in Hammonds car crash but I dont need all of this boring fucking rubbish about Big Bro. Im so pissed off by it, I would boycott channel 4 but it still has lots of good programmes on it! So instead its just a big brother blackout and I wish others would follow suit. Its like bullys at school, if you ignore them long enough they get bored and go away. Maybe if more people ignored big brother they would take it off our TV screens

2006-12-06T17:19:00.000Z

Things I learnt from TV (and movies)

Being as two people only ever read this because i'm not quite ready to take over the world with my rantings yet I thought I would do a little funny blog to brighten up your days a bit more when you do get round to reading it. I had a laugh the other day reading about things that you will learn from watching too much TV on a random forum somewhere so thought that I would bring to your attention.

1. Always, No matter what the occasion use your local pub to host the party despite the constant punch ups and shit that goes wrong they can cater for any need, christening, wedding reception, homecoming, birthday, anniversary, world cup party (despite no TV) you name it they can do it.

2. Never go to a hospital if you have a "minor injury" you will die horribly, if however you have some incurable diesease you can bet your arse that some doctor will cure you with a part from a pig.

3. If you cheat on your partner you WILL get found out, and most probably it will happen in your local pub in front of every one.

4. Dont have a baby - most die, or have incurable dieseases or will cause you to split up a happy family.

5. Dont get married, if you do, one of you will die, if you stay alive you'll be divorced within two years anyway coz you have a baby.....

6. If you run a fruit and veg market stall you can earn enough money to buy a property in the east end of london........

7. In the same area that millionaire gangsters are also buying houses.

8. Anyone who has a slight cough probably has an inoperable brain disease

9. Fight as loud as you want, publicly as you want, it'll all be forgotten by the neighbours next week.

10. A night out consists of sitting in the pub 1 minute away from your house all evening, every evening.

11. Adults do not exist on the outskirts of chester

12. Working in a launderette, pub or as a skivvy in a garage affords you enough money to live in a 3 bed room house

13. You dont need to own a car and if you do you will only use it once a month the rest of the time it will be in the garage to keep the local mechanics employed.

14. Buisnesses will spring up overnight and suddenly be making thousands of pounds a month despite no-one ever going in there.

15. Houses will suddenly become tardis's and no matter how many members of the family you have there will always be an extra room made up for them.

16. When you think you have seen the last of every single family member that you know of another one will pop up from the darkest corner of the globe.

17. Your local post office is a goldmine, you know this because it is robbed at least once every two years.

18. 50 year old women and 13 year old girls can get pregnant by being breathed on, but if you are trying to conceive the man will have a low sperm count.

19. If you are going on holiday no-one will ever mention going abroad, its always "Brighton" or "Blackpool" This is probably because......

20. Going abroad will result in finding someone whos funeral you have been to or you will bump into your ex-wife and baby who had skipped the country and probably you will get murdered.

21. At least 3 people in your street will own a gun and they know how to use it

22. You can live with a murderer for months and not have the slightest clue what he is up to.

23. Dont play for Harchester Utd or Earls Park football team, you could be involved in murder, corruption, match fixing, rape, suicide, blindness, drugs, hit and runs, armed robbery. Just dont do it!!

24. You can be a millionaire purely for living in a house and swearing for 12 weeks

25. "The worlds biggest penis" is not a documentry about George Bush.........

26. Women only watch CrimeWatch for one reason......

27. If you are being chased by a mass murderer dont run upstairs, instead, try running away.....

28. This however only works if you are Linford Christie, because no matter how fast you run the mass murderer will only be 10 steps behind and you WILL trip over and break your ankle before being mutilated.

29. If there is a house for sale in your street you can bet your arse that someone you know will buy it, it wont be some random stranger, in fact most probably it will be your dad, or someone you had a kid with 13 years ago.

30. Ask for a beer in your pub and it will be ready in about 0.000001 of a second no waiting for it to be poured! Plus dont hand over a fiver you'll never get change oh and also...

31... if you walk into your pub and there is three people at the bar that you have recently argued with that doesnt matter you'll always buy them a drink, cost doesnt come into it. Plus

32. You can go into the pub alone, its never packed, there is just enough seats for the locals and everyone you know is in there anyway.

33. Your buisnesses will run themselves if you are not there and still be thriving.

That'll do, I might edit this but im saving and going home!!

2006-11-16T13:48:00.000Z

Something I just had to put on here.

Its not a rant its just I watched "My new face" on channel four last night and it was hugely fascinating, basically its a charity (Facingtheworld) which helps out hugely disfigured children from the poorer parts of the world. Check out the website to understand where im going with this as I cant be bothered to post lots of pictures!!!
Some of the pictures are quite shocking but there are people out there who are helping, namely these two surgeons! Just read about it and be amazed, one kid last night "Ney Kit" literally had his face peeled back like an orange so that they could get at the tumour inside his cheek and then used bone from his skull to repair a whole in his cheek! It was amazing to watch (gross, but amazing) and was pioneering surgery.
Its amazing that we have the technology to do this sort of thing in the world now 100 years ago these kids would have been left to die an early death but thanks to this charity they have a chance of a life, it wont be 100% normal in the case of some, I'm thinking of Arianto, but at least his tumor is no longer growing!
Im guessing my rant is aimed loosely at those druggies from my previous post, scoring £4000 out of taxpayers pockets and what will they do with it? Spend it on more drugs probably, they wont give a shit about charities like this, I admit that im not the greatest when it comes to giving to charities and yes I should help more thats for certain, I know that and yes I do feel guilty about it but what pisses me off is that there are people out there in this world of ours earning hundreds of thousands of pounds a week (footballers) who although might do the odd thing every now and then they earn crazy amounts of money but care more about their latest sponsorship deal rather than helping out people like these surgeons.

Why is it always the "normal" people that care? A case in point Michael Shields is a wrongly convicted man currently holed up in a Belgian jail for a crime he didnt commit. His family needed to raise £90,000 to bring him to England so he could at least serve his time in an English prison (bare in mind he is innocent!!) He is a liverpool fan, and Liverpool have done lots to help the cause, Paul McCartney (yes the Paul McCartney) said that he would have a charity concert to help raise funds - stop right there - Lets say it was on my doorstep and I went to it, £30 for a ticket now doubt, then god knows how much for food and drink. Then I would have felt obliged to put a tenner in the bucket for the cause. All well and good, everyone who does that at the concert and he's a free man. Now think about it Paul McCartney is worth 800MILLION pounds. What is £90,000 to him? A days interest? Why go to the fuss of having a concert when he could just dip into his own wealth and pay for Michael to come out?

My point is that although I dont do it much, im going to start trying to give more and I think others in the world should follow suit - especially you Mr McCartney you greedy shit.

2006-11-16T09:08:00.000Z

Its that time of week again!!

Now I'm not one to moan about the state this country is in.......... but this week four news stories have really caught my eye and its amazing that things like this dont get more coverage, basically they are four stories which bounce off each other. I'll start with the one I know most about.

Up to 200 prisoners and ex-prisoners have received a cash payout due to them being deprived of their human rights while in prison basically they are all ex junkies and while they were in prison they were made to go "cold turkey" they took their case to the European court of human rights who agreed and said that they could all have roughly about 4 grand each. Excuse my French but this fucking stinks! That is OUR money, the taxpayer why should we pay for this shit? If they dont want to come off heroin then dont commit crimes that will put you in prison you cock! What did they expect when they went to prison? A tuck shop with class A drugs for sale if you cleaned the toilet with a toothbrush? Coz thats what you should be doing in prison - cleaning toilets with a toothbrush!! Not sitting in your cell smacking up because its against your human rights to come off heroin!

You just know that this is going to open the floodgates - after all there are rapists in jail who think its their human right to rape people - they are being denied that and you just know that our law and government are so fucking stupid that they will agree with them.

Compare that to this other little story that didnt get as much press.

A council is going to ban its staff having fag breaks, im not a smoker, so I dont really care that much and in the long run it might do them a favour, I mean I like chocolate but I dont need to go outside the building for five minutes to eat it - but thats not the point! Some of these people might have been smoking for years so surely it is against their human right to make them stop "cold turkey"?? But no, the government are all for this ban HOW?? Surely due to the fact that a bunch of ex-junkies who helped out no-one in their life can get 4 grand each then the smokers of this councils staff can do the same? Who will pay for that when they decide to sue? Yep you guessed it, you and me! I hate smoking but if someone wants to do it OUTSIDE then thats their friggin choice, its chucking down with rain today and bloody cold so more fool them, thats punishment enough! Have you ever tried to work with just one person who is trying to quit? Imagine a whole office full? Fuck that all the non-smokers will be going outside to get away from them. Again the government treats the criminals with respect and the rest of us like shit on a shoe.

And another example of this fucking shitty government (its getting so tiresome I cant even be bothered to come up with any other analogys apart from "fucking shitty") is the fact that rapists, murderers, muggers etc will be freed to walk our streets if they behave, I cant find the specific link to the story but I know it had something to do with the mouth that is Jack Straw, here is one I found some rapists might not even face trial? Just given a slap on the wrists and told to be on their merry little way and "Make sure you behave young man, ho, ho, ho" tell that to the next woman he meets in a dark street? Just type in "Rapist spared jail" into google and be amazed.......now of course you would think that murderers and rapists are the most dangerous people walking our streets so lock them up forever wouldnt you?

Dont you fear the government has its policy right, it has come out fighting and found quite possibly the most dangerous man in the country and jailed him. A 75 year old war hero was jailed for not paying his council tax thank god for that! Im so pleased the government has done that I was fearing for my life with him roaming the streets. The man earns just over £8000 a year due to his, quite frankly, piss poor pension (which no doubt Gordan Brown robbed to plug his money hole) and his council tax bill was just under £1500. Fair play to the man I say, as i've said before what do the council do to expect that amount of money? especially from a frail pensioner! But way to go Mr Blair get that scum off our streets, leave it to the rapists and murderers I feel much safer with them..........

2006-10-31T17:57:00.000Z

The Big Green Tax Machine

I just truly don’t believe it, I know that I’m not the only one in the country with these views so why are we all bending over and letting the government fuck us up the arse? You must have read about the latest crazy schemes that they are proposing.

Firstly, Patricia bloody Hewitt (seriously, what use does that woman have) wants to raise taxes on Alcohol to stop binge drinking WTF???? She can’t be serious right? Oh no, she is deadly serious, what a muppet. This is coming from the same labour government who have relaxed our drinking laws (24 hour licences) and relaxed the criminal laws so that those who do binge drink, get plastered, go to the toilet against shop fronts in their town centres, punch a few normal people on the way home, kick in a police car and then the next day they might get fined £50.

If you want to stop binge drinking provide a REAL deterrent, anyone caught causing a public nuisance, starting a fight, pissing against a shop, put them in a police cell overnight, fine them a minimum of £200 and serve them with a suspended sentence then if they do it again they get locked up for 7 days, that would stop the little bastards! It is only a minority so why not bring in laws that will only affect the minority, why tax ALL ALCOHOL just for a few mindless idiots that stalk our towns. It’s not fair on the person who might drink 1 or 2 pints socially every week. It’s wrong, wrong, wrong and typical of our government to shut the gate to the stable while the horse has not just bolted, it’s been chopped up and sold as a dodgy kebab in some shitty burger van.

And my life, what is the deal with all this Green shit (not green-shit, that’s a totally different radioactive problem) at the moment? I admit I’m not Mr Thrifty when it comes to being green and saving the environment, I have energy saving lightbulbs and I do recycle a lot, mostly the junk mail that comes through my door, here’s a hint, stop sending junk mail that could save the environment on its own, that’s about it though. My car is officially a gas guzzler. And I know that my home isn’t “energy efficient” because it’s got an old boiler, the double glazing has blown among other things but it’s the way I choose to live.

The UK is responsible for a mere 2% of the worlds pollution, places like India, America and China can’t even spell environment so why oh why oh why should we be taxed out of our arses to pay for the fact that the world is going tits up? Basically, if a supermarket doesn’t meet its “Green Expectations” they will get fined – if a supermarket gets fined who will they pass the costs onto? Yep, that’s right, you and me! So that cheapo 99p Garlic bread you just bought will go up to £1.50, won’t be much you think, but think about everything that you buy; an £80 shop will increase to about £150; it totally takes the piss and is bang out of order.

Why should owners of 4x4s have to pay up to FIVE THOUSAND pounds in car tax??? Surely if they want to own a 4x4 then let them fucking own a 4x4, I personally don’t want to drive around in a hairdryer so why the hell should I be forced to? My gripe about this is that the way it is heading I wont be able to afford to keep my car and at 5 grand a year tax, no-one will be able to? So who do I sell my car to? It’s worth about 2 grand, who is going to buy it off me knowing they would have to pay 5grand tax? No-one that’s who! So therefore how do I get money to buy a new and environmentally friendly car? Exactly, I don’t.

This is the governments plan, make us all walk! So I go to work to buy all the things I want, but the government taxes everything I have to the extreme, therefore I cant even afford a car, so I cant get to work (no railway station and bus route is shocking) so I cant actually afford to work, so I have to sell my flat and get a council house in a cheap scummy estate with burnt out cars and tracksuited inbreds on every corner, then I can get benefits which are for the jobless, I could then get a cheap car, don’t tax it, or insure it (after all whets the point, a £50 fine for both is still cheaper than car tax and insurance) I could arrange to get a couple of kids from somewhere and live off their child benefit, then when they are 12, make them have kids like all the council estate shits these days and I could be a parasite on society exactly like the government appear to want us all to be.

After all what’s the point in trying to work hard for a living if you’re going to be worse off for it? The sooner we get rid of this shitty labour government the better.
I just want to live my life the way I want to live it, I don’t take kindly being dictated to, I thought when we won the second world war it was for Freedom and Liberation? Certainly doesn’t feel like it at the moment does it?

2006-10-24T16:54:00.000+01:00

I want to run the country: Part 2
OK my first blog on this subject was ALL about the soft arsed shitty prison sentences in this country of ours and this afternoon I’ve been having a chat with my teenwolf hairy mother work colleague and we cant help but agree that there is so much wrong with this country its unreal. I think I might have to look into how to become a politician, it can’t be hard surely? I used to be great at lying when I was younger. I sometimes talk a lot of shit, I won’t get involved in any sex scandals, that could be a bit of a downfall on my CV and I certainly won’t be involved in any gay shenanigans on Clapham common, but I think I could be qualified. Firstly before I kick off, I'm not racist and never will be and I am not sexist and never will be. I have worked with Black people, Muslims, Indians, and Chinese. I’ve worked on a level footing with dozens of females and have had more women bosses than men. So I think most of my views come from a “level head” and not some neo-Nazi shit.
If I was in charge of the country, here is what I would do.
Firstly, SHUT THE BORDERS, dammit I’m pissed off with any Pole, Iraqi, Afghan, Belgian, Angolan, Romanian and AMERICANS claiming poverty, thinking that they have an automatic right to live in our country. No you don’t, piss off, not one foreign national will be allowed into our country until we have sorted this shit out (apart from coming on holiday), all those that are already in here fine that’s not a problem but if you are illegal expect to be chucked out back to your own country. If it takes 10 years, fine, then it takes 10 years I really don’t give a shit. If you are an illegal immigrant and you want your family to come over here because you miss them and its unfair that you cant see them, tough shit, there’s only one way to see them and that’s for you to stop being illegal and go visit them but I would guarantee that you wouldn’t get back in. All benefits to illegal immigrants and asylum seekers will be stopped 100% no arguments, why the hell should the British tax payer pay for these bunch of nobody wasters who contribute fuck all to society. They come here for one reason and one reason only; it’s to sponge off us British. My Auntie lives in a squalor in Mitcham, she’s not old but she lived through the war and she lives in basically a shit hole, her “flat” doesn’t even have a bathroom and she has to wash in the sink, the council doesn’t think that she is in a bad enough state to warrant proper accommodation, so therefore I would ban all “Housing gifts” to multi family illegals until the people in need that are British get sorted first. We must always take priority in this country over anyone and everything.
Secondly, I would stop letting Belgium rules turn us in to a poxy nanny state, if my bananas are slightly bent then fuck it, they are bent why do we have crazy fucking rules like “Is the shape of your banana correct” IT’S A FUCKING BANANA who gives a rats arse? Jesus, aren’t there slightly more important things in the world? And if our country wants to deal in pounds and ounces then that’s the way we will be, whats the point in prosecuting somebody because he sells 8pounds of potatoes and not 6.47squillygrammes or whatever stupid metric nonsense it is! I don’t want to order 1.4millilitres of Carling when I go to a pub, I want A PINT, its simple and it will never change. So Brussels I would stick not only my two fingers up at you and tell you to piss off but I would use the rest of the country as well, I would say all 60 million of us, but about 15million are probably illegal and they’ll soon be kicked out. Jeez, that would solve the South East’s housing crisis wouldn’t it?
Thirdly, scrap the human rights act, what a complete and utter pile of useless fucking shit that is, every single person on the planet has their basic human rights and no-one can deny that, but as far as I’m concerned if you break the law in any way then you lose your human rights – as a human you should respect others in a way that you would want them to respect you, if you break into someone’s house then expect to have some sort of heavy instrument (baseball/cricket bat, frying pan) wrapped around your head. That is their human right to do that to you to stop you interfering with their lives and most probably to protect their family. You should expect that if you are a burglar, but OH NO, the law in this country only swings one way and you can bet your arse that if you clobber a crook with a baseball bat then he will get off with 3 hours community service and a £50 fine but you’d be looking at 3 months in prison and anger management classes on your way out. Why the hell do we put up with it? How can you whack someone in your own home because they are robbing you but they get away with a slap on the wrists? You’d get more punishment if you forgot to pay your council tax.
Fourthly, a point I will stop on because I feel strongly about it but I’ve already mentioned in previous blog is to introduce Sarah’s Law in this country and my god do we need it, the situation seems to get worse each week. A 35 year old man, previously convicted of raping a 12 year old girl, gets let out of prison early because he is not deemed a threat to anyone, abducts a six year old girl from a bath, rapes her then dumps her naked in the street – the police immediately go round his house and arrest him because THEY KNOW WHERE HE LIVES, fucking hell, why don’t we know these things????????? Why is the law designed to protect perverts like this living in our communities yet nothing is done to protect THE CHILDREN, they are the important ones in this whole scenario its not rocket science is it? Though you’d think it was. It’s mental that we have to pay to have these people protected yet they get let out of prison again and re-offend again and again.
I’m not going to bang on about public transport again as I’ve done that already but my god I would change that as well, its shit.
Measures in pubs – you know the ones, pay £3.65 for a JD and coke and you get 50ml of JD which is about a thimbleful, in London it’s about £8 for 25ml. You go to any other country in the world, ask for that and they just get the bottle, pour about half a pint and splash the coke in, they also don’t charge for the coke – it costs about the same but my god you get steaming drunk quicker, so I would scrap the measures, I think its pathetic and makes us look like such a stingy nation, I remember going to a club once asked for a baileys and they charged £3 for 10ml, my girlfriend threw it across the bar in disgust and screamed that’s pathetic, now imagine that was some foreigner comes over here, once in a lifetime experience, goes to town to get drunk and gets served up 25ml for £8. That would piss me off, it pisses me off and I’m English but if I was foreign well, don’t know what I’d do! But we put up with it, is it because we’re just a bunch of gullible idiots?
I’d recruit more police as well, not “Police supporting community officer” What the hell are they supposed to do? They might have stab vests and handcuffs but legally they are not allowed to make any arrests? So what do they do? Imagine it, just seen someone rob a bank “Erm, excuse me sir, can you wait here while I get a real policeman to deal with you”? Why do we have these plastic policemen? When there are people out there who could willingly do the job yet find it impossible to get in because the application form asks “Have you ever been a victim of a racially motivated attack” you answered “no” unfortunately we cant select you at this time because you need to have been attacked and dealt with by an officer at least once in your life, also you are not Gay, or black, or wish to change your name from Thomas to Tracey and you are over 5ft 1 inches so because of our policy of recruiting from every background we cant select you. Why the fuck does it matter what colour I am and how does my sexuality affect the fact that I could do the job? Surely as a physically fit man I could do the job better than a 4ft 8 dwarf who likes to wear high heels and is bordering on the obese side of hefty?
This country is fucked and somebody needs to put the plug back in before it gets in a serious amount of shit and slips off down the gutter. I want to be in charge, there is so much more I could change, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on but I have some work to get back to. I might have to find a website where I can start my election campaign. Im sure part 3 is going to follow pretty bloody rapidly!
Paul Spillers freedom of speech for free thinking people starts here.

2006-10-09T17:22:00.000+01:00

I never thought I would say this......

But there is a part of me that is SOOOOOOO glad that my football team lost yesterday! Hampshire Cup (which is a big cup in Sunday League terms) and my team lost to a bunch of ewoks, Oompa Loompas and Munchkins (yep they were all below 4ft) such a small team and they were rubbish, they couldnt keep hold of the ball and they only had about 5 shots on goal (and scored all 5) now some members of my team dont deserve to lose, Bilson, James, Liam, Graham, Azza, Vik and Andy who I get on with really well, the others are a bit mix and match sometimes I will, sometimes I wont but yesterday I got dropped for no real reason. Basically our manager wasnt there and the guy who had taken charge said right at the start "Those that went to training im going to start with and as there were only 7 im going to fill the gaps with the rest of you"

Not only do I go to training every week, I organise and pay for it - I was at training on Tuesday so despite what he said I didnt play? I didnt even get on as a sub? Where is the logic? That pissed me off something rotten and I couldnt help but smile when the fourth goal went in because they were playing like headless chickens and they had no clue and the really good thing about it was that I wasnt on the pitch so they couldnt blame me for the childish stupid mistakes that they were making, sweet, sweet justice I think. The weak link in the back line was exposed yesterday as Will, mainly because Ben had such an awesome game and it showed Will up something chronic yet Will is one of only 3 players to play 90 minutes in every game so far!! I cant help but think that he needs to be 'rotated' just for one game to see how well we do without him - I wait and see if it happens, in the meantime, although very pissed off still, im going to smile all week about what I feel could be a massive turning point in our season I just hope others will begin to see what i've been saying for weeks!

Why im not a football manager I dont know i'd have sorted these little problems out long ago.....

2006-10-03T11:37:00.000+01:00

Money, Money, Money

Its so funny.......

We are not in a rich mans world, nothing like it, yeh most of us happily get by but there are millions of people in this country alone in crazy amounts of debt, there is a pretty good reason, yep, bad money management is the obvious answer but sometimes you just have to juggle, I juggle money every single month to keep my head above water, I know that it will come good in the end but as a country we are taxed to the hilt on everything.

Council Tax for my one bed flat is stupidly high, I dont agree that I should be paying £888 a year (after 25% discount) to have my bin emptied once a week? Thats just mental! Just in my postcode alone if we were all paying that amount (which we're not, some are paying higher) then that would be over 70 thousand a year! Councils make crazy money and I think it needs to be looked at.

Its not just that though, petrol, alcohol, cigerettes, wages, clothes, every single thing you buy is taxed massivly and it pisses me off but amazingly thats not my rant, its people who say they have no money and then do something stupid with what little money they have? That fucks me off something rotten.

Im not talking about my girlfriend either! With what little money she gets from her student loan she copes brilliantly well with being able to juggle it and I commend her for that, I wouldnt be able to do it thats for sure! Alright she borrows some from me if she gets really stuck but its getting rarer and rarer.

Whats really annoying me right now is that one person on my football team, if he ever read this he'd know I was talking about him, he has a steady job but the pay is shit something stupid like 12k a year, he had the opportunity to earn up to 37k a year but turned it down because he would have to work 7-7 each day! He has a young family to support but would rather go out and spend what money he has on beer, anyway, I digress, he is pissing me off, he keeps emailing me and texting me telling me that he cant afford training money for the next three months, its £12 thats £1 a week ONE POUND how easy is that to pay? Yet he is saying he cannot afford it WANKER I dont believe you and the reason I dont believe him is because on the forum we have a post about an end of season trip abroad. This has become an annual thing with my football team, it costs about £150+ I cant afford that sort of money and dont want to spend four days lagered up with hormone driven males, its not my thing anymore, i've grown up, so obviously this player, with no money for training couldnt afford it could he?

Of course he can..... yep, he'll find the money TOSSER and not only that but HE is moaning at ME for saying that I cant afford to go?? "Oh its only £20 a month if you save now" JESUS, well if you can afford that you can afford my training money I pay that out of MY OWN POCKET for this friggin football team. The reason I do it is because I know that we need training, I certainly do the form im in at the moment but I do it as its vital I feel for a team to train. Everyone else pays me on time everytime its just him so I feel like I should cancel training just because of him and thats not fair! But the next bill is going to be bigger (about £17) and I know he will make up yet more shitty excuses, that will be it then though coz I wont be able to afford it anymore. TWAT, TWAT, TWAT, TWAT, TWAT

ah, that feels better...........................

2006-09-20T14:22:00.000+01:00

Catch up time

Inspired by constant posting on Lindsays Blog and Ms 20Something I feel I should write a few words about some subjects that have me getting the arse recently. Firstly Jamie Oliver, I owe a great deal to this man, I have a couple of his cook books and he has turned me from "pasta with sausage" to "Maryland Chicken with sweetcorn and beans" cooking gives me a great deal of pleasure and I feel well happy when I serve up a quality dish. In the last six months I have cooked an awesome roast chicken with all sorts of ingredients on it (too many to list) the above mentioned maryland chicken, Skate in a plum tomatoe sauce dressing, a quality beef tomotoe starter among many, many other things and for that I would like to thank Jamie Oliver for making his cook books so easy to follow.

Which is why it fucks me off so much that he gets slated for doing this whole school dinners thing, he is doing something which, in my eyes, is simply amazing, to change the menu on how many thousands of schools in this country is no easy task yet he is doing it virtually all by himself, obviously he has the help of Nora but she is by her own admission just a dinner lady. Jamie himself summed it up at the end of Mondays episode, Nora said "Well you're stuck with this for another three years" and he responded "I think im stuck with this for the rest of my life" and I think he is right, in esscence he is just a chef but think for a second about what he is doing, he is trying to change a whole generation of children into being healthy, that is good for the whole country, because better food at a younger age produces better brains and will keep this country ticking over, forget the chav minority and have faith that there are kids out there who will grow up to be scientists, doctors etc.

It shocks me therefore that there are parents in Rotherham who have taken it upon themselves to feed their kids crap through the school fence, this is a disgrace if it was just their kids they were feeding to be like them then fair enough we can let a couple slip through the net but they were pushing junk to about 100 pupils and thats not fair on the parents who sent their kids to school with the knowledge that they would be eating well. Its selfish and pig-ignorant for them to do that and they were standing on graves as they were doing it. A typical picture of the scum society some people live in.

If I was Jamie Oliver when I heard this I would have driven straight to Rotherham and made these parents eat all the crap that they had just given the kids until they threw up (much like when a kid is caught smoking you make him smoke the whole pack till he chucks - never smokes again) but if you watched the programme Jamie Oliver wouldnt have been able to do this because he has been a busy boy. He met with the countrys treasurer (cant remember his name, he's not that important) but this guy basically said that Jamie couldnt have any more money.....

Jamie came out and said "fuck that im going to Tony" now at that point I had no idea who he was talking about but later in the programme he met up with Tony Blair, yep, the Tony Blair and basically asked him for more money. It was funny because Jamie asked him some questions and Blair, in his normal style tried to skirt around the subject, Jamie said "Thats a bit wet Tony" cracked me up!!! At the end of it Jamie had got an extra 240 million pounds, he had been promised that schools without kitchens would get a "kitchen grant" and the ten best schools around the country would become "training centres" which is an amazing acheivement.

So for those parents in Rotherham I hoped you watched this and realised what ONE man is acheiving while you are feeding your kids the shit you have bought them up on. He is trying to feed the WHOLE BLOODY COUNTRY. Whether they have a kitchen or not, for that Jamie Oliver, I salute you!!!

2006-07-11T16:38:00.000+01:00

TV Licence - why bother?

Following on from my rant about petrol and taxes being sky high we are also massivly charged to watch the goggle box in this country of ours and now the beeb want to hike the price - im trying to work out why? What quality programming have we been subjected to in recent years that subjects a rise to £200 a year. Let me tell you.

Driving school, Airline, Big Brother, Celebrity love island, Survivor, X-Factor, Pop Idol, Im a celeb, wife swap, strictly come dancing, dance fever, strictly ice dancing, the farm, the contender, the apprentice, shipwrecked, back to reality, celeb FAT club, jailbreak, space cadets,

All of these are "reality" shows and all of these are basically a load of shit, out of these I think we can say that Shayne Ward & Will Young will have sustained success in the world but what the hell is the point in the rest of them? They are all car crash TV and they are all shit and I have to pay a licence fee for this crap. Throw this lot in with all the gardening/diy and property programmes which off the top of my head I can name:

city gardener, location/location/location, diy SOS, changing rooms, groundforce, property ladder, with a little help, under the hammer, house invaders, garden invaders, charlies garden,

with this lot we aint left with much TV to tune into, the Beeb hit a good spot with lots of people about Doctor Who but its not my cup of tea, never has been to be fair. I dont watch Eastenders as I would rather slice my wrists to see if i would have more amusement admittedly they produced one decent drama this year "Life on mars" but I dont think that one good drama in seven months of programming warrents my licence fee. Things I have liked watching this year have been Hollyoaks, lost, sugar rush, Desperate Housewifes (to a degree), shameless, ER, Friends, Simpsons - are you getting the similarity yet? All of these programmes are on C4, yup, everyone of them, C4 spoil us really OK they go ott with big brother but the rest of the year is fine TV and I find myself never watching the beeb, in fact if channel four has nothing on I usually flick to the bill, so WHY should I pay a TV licence for what is some pretty rubbish tele. Plus the fact that Jonathon Ross now earns 18 million on his new contract, Chris Moyles picks up £630,000 a year, for three hours work a day!!! Thats a disgrace and that is where my licence fee is going? Here is my theory stop paying these prima donnas so much fucking money and produce some quality TV programmes instead?
Simple really aint it.

2006-07-11T11:57:00.000+01:00

Optional Extras

Ah the joys of driving a car, ten years nearly now I’ve been mobile and still every day you see a new thing that surprises you, I like to think that I'm a dead careful driver, I know some complain that I maybe a tad too careful, its not like I drive around in an old boy rover estate or anything I own a Toyota Celica and its quick as shit and I love it, My girlfriend wants to throw up whenever she gets in it as its "too low to the ground" but each to their own and I'm happy with it. Its expensive on petrol though and I’m assuming that the latest tax hikes in the budget mean I’ll be paying £205 tax next year, talk about a friggin rip off, as if petrol isn’t enough of a tax 95p on average a litre, that’s shocking. This country really hates the motorist. So there is my rant for the day, other motorists and public bleedin transport.
As a car driver we are taxed to the hilt in making it run, Petrol is the most expensive in the world, it costs me £45 to fill up each week, that’s a lot of money that I'm ploughing back into the governments coffers, something like 81p in every pound goes into Gordon Browns trousers so in one year £1895.40 in tax goes to him, work that out for 30 million drivers in the UK, say if they were all filling up with £45 a week and that’s a shit load of money calculator says 56862000000 which in English is 56 billion??? I’m sure that’s wrong but even so, it looks like a whole lot of money and I would love to have it!! In fact, id be happy to be able to fill up on £20 a week, before all you green monsters say anything no I'm not changing car? Why the fuck should I? I want my car, if you choose to drive around in an electric hairdryer that’s your choice. Yes the greenhouse effect is a bad thing but lets be honest in my lifetime the world is not going to collapse – it might collapse around the year 3000 or something – oh, shit, no, what will I do? I’ll be dead the world blowing up in 3645ad is not something I'm overly concerned about right now. This is why other car drivers piss me off I bought my car three years ago now and I made sure that it had all the usual things, MOT, tax, four tyres, steering wheel, INDICATORS, I had no clue that indicators were optional extras? Let me give you a hint, if you buy a car then choose one with indicators, honestly as good as I am, I cant read everyone’s mind, I genuinely have no fucking clue which direction you are going, half the time you don’t either but at least attempt to give me an idea that you are inept, hell even if you put your hazards on to warn me that you are a few cans short of a six pack. Last I knew indicators weren’t optional extras so use them OK, take your hand off your gearstick and stop trying to look cool and flick that switch.
While your hand is off the gearstick turn your Fog lights off as well, bright sunny day in the middle of June and you have your fog lights on, do you not realise why people are overtaking you (coz you are doing 30 in a 60) and laughing at you? No then maybe you should go back to driving school and learn again. Talking about that friggin dawdlers a constant speed of 35 mph in 30, 40, 50 and 60 limits that pisses me off big time not that I bust the speed limits all the time J but because you are doing the same speed and then you brake for any little corner, what the fuck is wrong with you? Accelerator is the pedal on the right use it.
Then we move to public transport, why are motorists victimised into not using our cars? All the taxes, double yellow lines everywhere, sky high parking charges, wanky speed cameras hiding in bushes, traffic wardens plaguing the streets, congestion charging, its terrible. The worst part is they want us to use public transport coz its greener? EXCUSE ME do you not see the fumes that spill out from buses as they sit in a bus stop for 10 minutes at a time? I do, yeh that wouldn’t be so bad if the bus was full but I was stuck behind one today that had not one person on it, not one, tell me that’s greener? And the reason people don’t use buses? Coz we have paid through our arse for the privilege to drive, I live in a little place called Whitehill, I work in Guildford, there is no train station near me so I would have to drive to the closest which is Liphook, but if I’m gonna drive there, park and pay extortionate prices for a train I might as well just drive all the way to work.
As for a bus forget it, I’d have to bus to Farnham, then to Aldershot, then all the way through Ash to get to Guildford for 8am in the morning? Yeh that’s gonna happen, if I never slept and left mine at midnight I might manage it. As for getting home, well I’d have to taxi into town (no bus stops, fight my way through crowds, wait for the bus to get through the traffic (Guildford is shocking) then do the same route in reverse, three weeks later I’ll arrive at my doorstep.My campaign to scrap bus lanes and all public transport begins now! Give the roads back to the cars, we pay to use them let us have them back, stop building cycle lanes, bus lanes, extending pavements they are our roads let us drive.

2006-06-21T12:14:00.000+01:00

England 2-2 Sweden

Well I predicted 2-1 England and was about 30 seconds away from that being true and judging by my previous predictions (spain 3-1 Tunisa, Switz 2-0 Togo, Brazil 2-0 Ozzies, Portugal 2-0 Iran) I was quietly confident it was going to stay that way but bloody Henrik Larsson you freaky goalscoring machine, how much I hate you now!! Oh well we've topped the group and Ecuador will provide an easier passage forward, so I will hopefully be in a packed pub somewhere on Sunday afternoon being yobbish and getting drunk watching England win before stumbling home to watch the repeat of lost...
My gripe though is aimed at Eriksson, the players we have, how I wish to have half the talent of some of these guys, Stevie G and Joe Cole especially but Eriksson stifles the team and it shocks me and in a way upsets me to see the team struggle so badly, we are not a one man team but about 185million people who are watching this game in the world might think that we are. We have other players other than Rooney, as great as he is we can play without him.
Mind you now that Owen is injured we probably cant play without him and thats where my major whinge comes in, Eriksson your a knob and I think you've realised that over the last couple of games with the fact that you took four strikers one had a broken foot, one was coming back from injury, one had NEVER PLAYED A FIRST TEAM GAME AT THE TOP LEVEL and the other was Peter Crouch who is still finding his feet (being such a fucking long way from his head I suppose) Hargreaves had a good game yesterday so I guess that means that Jenas should not be in the squad and it should have been Defoe. We had a great chance of winning this tournament and in theory still have but Eriksson you screwed up big time and I will hate you if we dont win it this time out coz its on your head and you picked the lightweight squad. But we are still in it and I'll be screaming right to the end! COME ON ENGLAND, Stevie G the stage is yours!!
For the record my predictions today
Holland 2-3 Argies
I.Coast 2-0 S&M
Portugal 2-1 Mexico (but gagging for mexico to win)
Iran 0-1 Angola

2006-06-21T12:00:00.000+01:00

Big Bother

Why as a nation are we obsessed by this cack television? Seriously people get a life, I mean normally I wouldn’t whinge about it because there are other things to watch and the world cup has been a godsend as the games easily cover the 9-10pm slot when this rubbish is on, so last night just after the England game (result!), I turned over to watch Lost, which is quality television only to be greeted by the screaming banshee that is the gonnabe porn star Nikki crying her eyes out, they moved lost for Big Brother! C4 execs, you fucked up big styleee, lost is brilliant and it puts British tv producers to shame, especially when you look at Big Brother and think how big it is, people are sad, seriously sad for liking this shit.

How stupid is Nikki for a start – if she had named one other person who had already been named she wouldn’t have been alone in evictions instead she names Lisa and condones herself as being the first and only one up for eviction until today?

That girl is about as clever as the bricks that hold my house together. Yet she is probably the most articulate in the house and has more brains than half of them put together. The guy with Tourettes constantly shouting out wankers more or less sums the show up! In fact, get them all out of the house and leave him in on his own for 12 weeks it would be more fun.

Bring back lost to its normal slot next week please god I don’t want to put up with this big brother shit anymore.

2006-06-20T14:52:00.000+01:00

The World Cup

Man oh man, I frigging love the world cup it is so fantastic its unreal part of me is glad that it only happens every four years it would seriously take the gloss off of the event if it was any more. Pisses me off that Brazil are always the bleedin favourites, where do they breed these footballers from? Crazy, they cant all come from the beaches playing barefoot surely? Naturally im not going to rant about the world cup being on coz I love it, England though not playing particularly well are through to the next phase, spank the swedes tonight happy days! The french and the eyeties both could possibly fail at the first hurdle which would be beautiful and downright funny!

My rant is aimed at all the oldies and the people who dont like football, what the ferk is your problem, the world cup is on once every FOUR YEARS thats 1461 days, why oh why do you moan about your poxy soaps getting moved around throughout the day! Come on, the world cup is quite possibly the biggest global event to ever happen, its bigger than the olympics, ashes, wimbledon and Superbowl (chuckle chuckle) put together, even countries not competing show as many games as possible. SO WHY MOAN, in this day and age of digital TV if you dont like it switch over watch repeats of Eastenders on UK Gold you never know what you missed out on last time round!

It is after all only once every four years (I keep reiterating that) We are lucky this time round that its in Germany as all the games are on at sensible times and its been amazing to watch, the dirty argies actually played football, Spain are looking a top class outfit if a little vunerable at the back. I've managed to catch most of the games luckily the ones I have missed have been shite (Japan-Croatia, Iran-Mexico, in fact all four 0-0 draws I've missed, thats pretty clever) I've also been lucky to have an understanding girlfriend who despite hating football so long as she gets to watch Hollyoaks she understands!! See there you go, all you old people and football haters, switch over to Hollyoaks on Channel four, it has better storylines than the big four and lets be honest, fitter women

Enjoy the football..... COME ON ENGLAND

2006-06-20T13:32:00.000+01:00

I want to run this country. Part one!

What the fuck is it with the powers that be who are in charge of "Our welfare" why do they all seem to walk around with blinkers on and not realise what the general opinion of the public want. Its just too shit for words...but im gonna try and put it into words!
My first major rant has to be about prison sentences and how shockingly slack they are. Why does life not mean life in this country? For those sick people out there who want to go and molest children its like they have a free licence to do so, ok they might have to put up with 5 weeks jail every now and then but thats a small inconvienence!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON kiddie fiddlers have no excuses they should be banged up for at least 15 years and if the shrinks cant get into their heads to work out why they did it then either kill them or chop their balls off. That sure as hell will stop them doing it again!
I know all the "Human rights" activists will be looking stunned at this well you know what, I dont give a toss - as soon as you step over the line into being a criminal then your human rights are gone, history, finito. Why should you have human rights when you inflict such pain onto other humans? What about their human rights that you have just destroyed?
And dont think that the government just let paedophiles walk free, oh no, its all kinds of criminals, rapists, muggers, murderers, drunk drivers who kill but make no mistake, you commit any kind of fraud against a bank or against a government organisation then you will be in prison for much, much longer than the murderer who is sharing the cell with you. Can somebody tell Tony Blair to hurry up and get a grip I for one know who I would rather run into in a dark alley.
Sarah Payne has been dead for 6 years, Labour have been in power for 9, so why has it taken until now for somebody to start "investigating" into the possibility of an English version of "Megans Law" the right for every parent to know the whereabouts of known paedophiles. This makes sense, it wont create a war zone in every village in the land, it will just create a safety net with which to cast over your children. Im not a parent so as it stands it is not a worry of mine but you can bet your arse that their are millions of parents in this country who might have suspicions about the weird next door neighbour. When I was a kid we had two very strange men in our neighbourhood, I could put money on at least one of them being a pervert, hell we even called him "Stan, stan the dirty old man" Kinda says it all to me when I was an impressionable 9 year old, but thats the thing, I was 9, it was harmless to me but if my mum and dad knew different they would have made sure I went nowhere near him.
Its not just Tony Blair who needs to start changing the laws in this country, during the last local elections the country was crying out for someone to really stick the boot into Blair, David Cameron was supposed to be that man so what does he do? Ponce around the antartic trying to save some friggin seals or something SERIOUSLY DAVID, GET REAL yes its all so upsetting but there are about a million things that need to be put right in this country before we start worrying about shit like that, there are already plenty of celebrity bandwagons who save seals we need you to provide the kick up the arse that labour needs so start doing it and you might manage to get more voters.

One final note - build more prisons! Why are the judges saying "Oh cant send you to prison as there isnt enough room" Jeeesus, if they have broken the law, send them to prison and buy a friggin mattress, they can sleep on the floor in the prison canteen for all I care so long as they are locked away.