Optional Extras

Ah the joys of driving a car, ten years nearly now I’ve been mobile and still every day you see a new thing that surprises you, I like to think that I'm a dead careful driver, I know some complain that I maybe a tad too careful, its not like I drive around in an old boy rover estate or anything I own a Toyota Celica and its quick as shit and I love it, My girlfriend wants to throw up whenever she gets in it as its "too low to the ground" but each to their own and I'm happy with it. Its expensive on petrol though and I’m assuming that the latest tax hikes in the budget mean I’ll be paying £205 tax next year, talk about a friggin rip off, as if petrol isn’t enough of a tax 95p on average a litre, that’s shocking. This country really hates the motorist. So there is my rant for the day, other motorists and public bleedin transport.
As a car driver we are taxed to the hilt in making it run, Petrol is the most expensive in the world, it costs me £45 to fill up each week, that’s a lot of money that I'm ploughing back into the governments coffers, something like 81p in every pound goes into Gordon Browns trousers so in one year £1895.40 in tax goes to him, work that out for 30 million drivers in the UK, say if they were all filling up with £45 a week and that’s a shit load of money calculator says 56862000000 which in English is 56 billion??? I’m sure that’s wrong but even so, it looks like a whole lot of money and I would love to have it!! In fact, id be happy to be able to fill up on £20 a week, before all you green monsters say anything no I'm not changing car? Why the fuck should I? I want my car, if you choose to drive around in an electric hairdryer that’s your choice. Yes the greenhouse effect is a bad thing but lets be honest in my lifetime the world is not going to collapse – it might collapse around the year 3000 or something – oh, shit, no, what will I do? I’ll be dead the world blowing up in 3645ad is not something I'm overly concerned about right now. This is why other car drivers piss me off I bought my car three years ago now and I made sure that it had all the usual things, MOT, tax, four tyres, steering wheel, INDICATORS, I had no clue that indicators were optional extras? Let me give you a hint, if you buy a car then choose one with indicators, honestly as good as I am, I cant read everyone’s mind, I genuinely have no fucking clue which direction you are going, half the time you don’t either but at least attempt to give me an idea that you are inept, hell even if you put your hazards on to warn me that you are a few cans short of a six pack. Last I knew indicators weren’t optional extras so use them OK, take your hand off your gearstick and stop trying to look cool and flick that switch.
While your hand is off the gearstick turn your Fog lights off as well, bright sunny day in the middle of June and you have your fog lights on, do you not realise why people are overtaking you (coz you are doing 30 in a 60) and laughing at you? No then maybe you should go back to driving school and learn again. Talking about that friggin dawdlers a constant speed of 35 mph in 30, 40, 50 and 60 limits that pisses me off big time not that I bust the speed limits all the time J but because you are doing the same speed and then you brake for any little corner, what the fuck is wrong with you? Accelerator is the pedal on the right use it.
Then we move to public transport, why are motorists victimised into not using our cars? All the taxes, double yellow lines everywhere, sky high parking charges, wanky speed cameras hiding in bushes, traffic wardens plaguing the streets, congestion charging, its terrible. The worst part is they want us to use public transport coz its greener? EXCUSE ME do you not see the fumes that spill out from buses as they sit in a bus stop for 10 minutes at a time? I do, yeh that wouldn’t be so bad if the bus was full but I was stuck behind one today that had not one person on it, not one, tell me that’s greener? And the reason people don’t use buses? Coz we have paid through our arse for the privilege to drive, I live in a little place called Whitehill, I work in Guildford, there is no train station near me so I would have to drive to the closest which is Liphook, but if I’m gonna drive there, park and pay extortionate prices for a train I might as well just drive all the way to work.
As for a bus forget it, I’d have to bus to Farnham, then to Aldershot, then all the way through Ash to get to Guildford for 8am in the morning? Yeh that’s gonna happen, if I never slept and left mine at midnight I might manage it. As for getting home, well I’d have to taxi into town (no bus stops, fight my way through crowds, wait for the bus to get through the traffic (Guildford is shocking) then do the same route in reverse, three weeks later I’ll arrive at my doorstep.My campaign to scrap bus lanes and all public transport begins now! Give the roads back to the cars, we pay to use them let us have them back, stop building cycle lanes, bus lanes, extending pavements they are our roads let us drive.