The Life Update:

My new job, well, it sucks! They actually expect me to work during the day – what’s that about!! OK I expect to work so I am just kidding but there are times during the day when the mind has had enough and it just needs to switch off, am I right or am I right? I work in IT which is tedious at the best of times and health and safety rules state that you should have a ten minute break every two hours because of sitting in front of the screen, I have never done this in any of my jobs because I’ve never needed to as there have been moments where I can just go and chill out somewhere – but this job, I need it on occasions. So I picked up the paper for a quick skim through, my bosses boss (lets call him prick –it suits him) comes in and says “What are you doing reading the paper, have the time to do that during the day do you”

My insides are screaming “NO YOU FUCKING PRICK IM HAVING A BIT OF A BREAK” he spends all his days in meetings so has no clue about being stuck in front of a computer all day but as it’s a new job, I cant quite hit him yet.

Last Thursday it was 527pm (I finish at 530) I had opened the BBC website to catch up on the news and he comes behind me. He then said “Can I have a word” We walked out of the room and he moaned at me for being on the Internet in work hours! Again I am screaming I GO HOME IN THREE MINUTES but what can I do? He has also moaned about the clothes that I have been wearing??????? WHAT THE FUCK I always wear smart clothes yet because my trousers were beige and not black I got whinged at – it was the only hot day we have had this summer and I work in an office that isn’t air conditioned I am GOING to wear lighter trousers thankyou very much you prick!

The work itself is quite interesting, I am not answering the phones at the moment which is brilliant, it’s a nice break after talking to stupid people for the last ten years who ring up with such beauty’s as “Where’s the start button”? FUCK ME how long have you been using a computer? So not having to talk to idiots is a nice blessing and setting up a helpdesk is interesting it’s something that I will be able to take to future jobs.
I feel I need to get a little bit more involved but it’s alright, I am writing training procedures, 166 procedures to be precise and it’s a good learning curve.
However once that is done I think its going to be a bit dull and we will then move to an open plan office and I just KNOW that the bosses will be like meerkats, constantly popping their heads up from their desks checking what websites we’re on, or why we are not at our desk, its gonna be a frigging nightmare – so I’m already looking to leave! I want a career now rather than just another job, difficult thing is I only know IT so not quite sure where I can start but hopefully I’ll figure something out soon!

As for the rest of life, well, what can I say – I sold my flat the other day, two years after I bought it for a profit of 17 grand! That is NIIIIICCCCEEE, I was well pleased £128,000 now just got to find somewhere to move into and we’ll be on the second rung of the property ladder, the next place though has to be a 2 bed house which is proving quite difficult to come by. We saw 5 places 2 weekends ago, one of them was truly brilliant for the price and was going to be snapped up straight away – unfortunately for us it was L we were gutted about that, the second favourite has a chain which means it wont be sold until December –friggin December! Who says they are going to move out of their house and then decides it won’t be for another 5 months. So that’s basically that one out of the running and the other three all had various things wrong with them, the third one was OK but needed work doing to the kitchen and bathroom.

The other two, well, not even worth mentioning, one of them was shocking, I wonder what goes through peoples minds when they stick these places on the market. My flat looks SOOOO good, I had an offer on it 1 hour, ONE HOUR after the FIRST viewing, I had an improved offer 3 hours later and it sold. Bang. That’s how you sell a place – the place I viewed was dark, it had two computers in the sitting room which made it look cramped, it was themed like a Hollywood movie set, it had about a thousand videos on the landing upstairs making it look half the size it was, the main bedroom was painted dark blue, and I’m talking really dark, and the second bedroom was bright pink – which amazingly enough, was the best room in the house!

That house is still on the market………….

So we’re still hunting around I’m certain the right place is out there it’s just a matter of finding it and being patient. I’m not going to jump into the first house that becomes available, we have to think “WOW” when we walk in, I want the feeling we had the first time we walked into my current flat.

The only people who read this blog will know where I’m going next – have been so proud recently! My god the graduation ceremony was boring but for the fleeting seconds that Lindsay was on stage with about 2000 eyeballs on her and 2 cameras it was awesome, I’d never been to a graduation before and never expected it to be like the whole American hoopla that goes on but it was very special, very traditional and just seeing her in the gown and dodgy hat thingy was brilliant, she might have thought she looked stupid but I don’t think she could have looked any better that day, it was awesome. A strange way to spend a birthday admittedly but I didn’t care, I have a birthday every year – well, apart from next year, I’m not having one next year J

Lots else going on, football season is just round the corner again which is cool, have started pre-season training, its well weird in a way, I have always managed to bring players into my club on varying degrees of success, directly or indirectly I have been involved in Danny, Ben, Aaron, Phil Gasson, Alex, Paul J, Meths, John Morrison, Liam, Martin and Jason all signing for the team, this summer I have managed to acquire the services of potentially 6 new players, one of which is a goalkeeper which we are desperate for, I don’t know why but I find it really exciting when I can bring in so many new players, nobody else on the team can do that, I for some reason have a knack – I do wonder if there’s a career there somewhere, being a scout or a football agent, something like that? Hmmm, maybe that’s something I could look into! I wonder if I could do a course on being a football agent!! I am looking forward to the unveiling of the new players – I think my current team mates are going to be quite shocked by the calibre I have bought in! It does help being a referee though, I get to ref on Tuesday nights and see a lot of good players, the two I have approached from there both look like signing.

Ah yes, the reffing, while writing a big update might as well include that! Loving every minute of it, the Tuesday night thing, the games are half hour long, and there is four games a night, one of the teams last night finished their game at 9pm and they stuck around till 10pm (end of last game) to congratulate me on how well I was doing! That meant a lot to me, one of the guys who stuck around used to be semi-pro and is a fantastic player, he scored 7 of his teams 9 goals last night, he said that I get nearly every decision bang on, despite the whinging that goes on he likes the way it doesn’t phase me! I even carded a player last night (which in these 5-a-side rules means he has to leave the pitch for four minutes) and he congratulated me on getting the decision spot on!! That was weird, mostly because he’s a big scary fucker and you would think he’d want to hit me!!

So now its time for the rant, fucking suicide bombers, most countries have had a few of these evil scum infecting their society now but for some reason Britain seems to revel in it. I love the fact that the Glaswegians attacked one of the bombers after his car didn’t explode and I quote from the hero of the hour “We wanted him to know that this is Glasgow so we set about him, we all put a boot in, then we banjoed him” I have NO idea what ‘banjoing him’ means – I’m guessing its nothing to do with the film deliverance, but it sounds painful, why cant the police be more like that? Banjo some people who commit crime that would stop them (I think)!
Anyway – this bomber who got banjoed is now in an NHS hospital being cared for by our nurses, he is costing the country 5 grand a day to try and keep him alive? WHY? The fucker wanted to blow up an airport and kill dozens of innocent people! I say strap a bomb to him, stick him in an inflatable dinghy in the sea somewhere and set the fucker off. Why should we keep him alive? He WANTED to die and he WANTED to take lots of people with him so lets just give him what he WANTS, he has no motive on this planet, he has no reason to be alive now, he probably doesn’t even know that he is alive, so lets kill the fucker before he wakes up and gets given a chance to do it again.

And as for the others that are currently being held – stick them in the dinghy with him and see if they can diffuse the bomb before it goes off like the brave policeman did with the London bomb. I bet they couldn’t and BOOM just like that Britain would send out a message to terrorists that we are no longer an easy target, but no, the government think these scumbags actually have human rights, fucking useless idiots, they no longer have human rights, they tried to take away lives, therefore their privileges get taken away. Simple. End of story.

That will do for now, phew! Bit of a long one, but I’ve written it at work being as I cant access the internet……… whistles while he pretends to carry on working…….